PRIDE (/hope for the future)

 

We are LGBTQ+ allies in this house. We wondered somedays what gender/orientation our oldest would identify with, due to the pink pull-ups, dresses, and pink leggings he preferred to wear as a youngster and that (until the last year or so) his favorite color was "rainbow." We have been open to whoever he would be, because Love is Love. 

Iver's been attending a forest camp this week, which also wrapped up Pride Month 2022. Here was his matter-of-fact conversation on Wednesday...

Iver: Do you know something unique about Scout, one of my counselors at camp?

Me: No, what is it?
Iver: They are trans.

Me: Oh, that's cool. Do you know what that means?
Iver: Of course! Do you know what that means?

Me: Yes, I do. So do you know how best they identify?

Iver: Yes! Their pronouns are THEY/THEM!
Me (smiling so wide): That's great that you know that.

Iver: So can I follow their YouTube channel?
Me: Umm. I don't think so. But I will think about it. 

So many human rights are under assault from the religious right in this country.  I'm not sure if marriage equality, access to contraception, or inter-racial marriage is next on the Supreme Court chopping block.  However, the fact that my seven-year-old knows how to use gender-appropriate pronouns and doesn't find this shocking or a big deal gives me hope for the future of our country.

Fair Fun!

I had a busy call weekend and Kelvin had a residency graduation to attend on Saturday night so we enlisted some babysitters (beloved teachers and couple Angela and Matt), who took the kids to the Redwood Acres Fair in Eureka.  We hadn't done any fair activities since the pandemic, but were regulars in past years.

Niall was so happy to be reunited with his wonderful teacher Matt, who left the childcare for a firefighting job earlier this spring.  

Angela had been the preschool teacher for both kids until she took a director position at a different childcare site, and was Iver's absolute favorite. She helped them get wristbands for some cool rides.

Corn dogs/fair food while watching monster trucks.

They met up with friends Hudson (not sure why the long face) and Shannon.

The rides were a hit! 

The kids had a blast and are looking forward to future fairs (including the county fair in August). I'm secretly glad I missed some of the spinny rides but look forward to joining in some of the fun next time!

Futbol aficionado

Despite us parents not remotely being fans of soccer (I recall writing about a pretty worthless World Cup match I was forced to endure over a decade ago), Iver has shown quite a bit of interest in the sport. During the school year, he was playing after school with his friends as well as some Sundays at Pierson Park "pick-up" style and always wants to play evening backyard soccer with Kelvin or me (not it!) after dinner (how does he have the energy?!). He is ultra-competitive and we are working on losing with grace (he's surprised that I actually can complete and score goals) but, other than a "tot-letics" soccer season years ago, he hasn't had any formal soccer instruction... until this week.

For the first full week of "summer," he joined a morning soccer camp in Arcata (afternoon was art). He loved it! The kids were divided into different countries' "teams" and he was assigned to Colombia. In the evenings, the kids had projects like decorating a jersey and making a trophy. He even did google research on Colombian players including the (now retired) Valderrama.

in action

He also wanted us to sign him up for the local soccer league, which starts in the fall and in which many of his friends are participating.  I'm 100% behind my kids playing sports that they enjoy as I think being part of a team and moving their bodies provides many valuable life lessons and benefits (despite my aversion to soccer in general)... however, I am a bit daunted by the initiation (as a parent) into the world of organized sports. I really don't think I'll turn into a veritable "soccer mom," but we'll see...  

A Dark Day

 

June 25th, 2022 will go down as a dark day in American history, along the likes of Pearl Harbor, 9/11, the 2016 election, and the January 6th insurrection (note: a few of these have something in common...).

I received a text about the news from my sister-in-law Lisa while I was busy working in clinic, supporting women with very desired pregnancies build their families in the way that made sense to them in the full scope of bodily autonomy. I blogged in 2019 about how pro-woman and pro-choice I am because of my gender, life experience, religion, and line of work. I am shocked, saddened, devastated, but not surprised by the Supreme Court's ruling (6-3) in overturning Roe vs. Wade, ever since I became aware of the explicit evil of so many of the evangelical right and white nationalist Republicans (mostly men) with the circumstances and aftermath the 2016 election including the hijacking of the no-radicalized Supreme Court (no one can ever consider us to have overreacted now).  Thankfully, I had a busy day and night delivering babies and was distracted from the deep soul grief and anxiety a ruling like this carries for for the majority of us American women because of the setback to human rights (an unprecedented reversal of precedent) and reversing a half-century of progress for women's equality.

I'm thankful to live in a state like California but feel for my sisters (and brothers) living in less progressive states across this country in which (safe) abortion will basically be banned, criminalizing the poor and the under-resourced who are already desperate and living on the margins.  May we never take another election for granted in our lifetime-- or in the lifetimes of our children. Obviously, hard-won generational work can never stop due to the negative and regressive forces and radical minority views which unfortunately hold a disproportionate amount of legislative and judicial power in this very screwed country.

I don't swear often on this blog or on the internet but this occasion calls for it.

Swanee River (a.k.a Old Folks at Home)

Iver has been humoring me with playing piano for about fifteen minutes most days, to replace the violin that may have ended with the end of his first grade year (we'll see next year).  It's going... okay.  I do think it would probably be more beneficial for him to actually have a formal piano teacher (other than me, although I feel comfortable at teaching him the basics). However, we are being cautious and making a concerted effort not to be "tiger" parents, forcing our strong-willed kiddo into activities that require a lot of after-school time or dedication, both to make our day-to-day lives (overall) easier and to avoid additional power struggles and resentment in activities/interests more ours than his, which I'm realizing as an adult and parent can be a real issue and stressor for kids (and parents) who have high expectations. While I'd love him to play and become proficient at a musical instrument (or more), we are being very gentle about guiding him in the interest so that (with hope) it doesn't backfire on us while still setting up the expectations of a routine of practicing (something/anything) regularly (parenting and trying not to screw up your kid is HARD!).

Iver is quite a perfectionist and does struggle at times with frustration as well as focused attention, but he's really getting the hand of "practice makes perfect" and, despite some feet dragging from him, it's rewarding to be able to play duets together!  He learned  Swanee River (by Stephen Foster) in the last couple of weeks, whose lyrics aren't super PC, referencing an old plantation and "darkies," but which has a nice tune and some more complicated rhythms (the lyrics were not in his beginner piano book). 

                                                                  Enjoy the performance (and please excuse my sweats)!

Summer Bursts

We've definitely had our share of rain this June (which I've really tried to welcome!) but have had a string of lovely sunny days which have felt quite warm (even above seventy last week) for us here on the North Coast.

School is out and the kids stayed home with grandparents on Friday with some outdoor fun including water play (in between their excessive screen time that parents don't allow). 

On Saturday, I took the kids to Pump 1 station where my friend Annie had a small outdoor birthday party near the Mad River for her daughter who I had the pleasure of catching seven years ago! 

The giant bubbles were a HIT! 

I dragged out pop-up tent out to the river for some shade ... and then couldn't fold it back into its disc. It seriously takes an advanced degree (more than an M.D.) to figure it out, even with instructions, and I just gave up. Iver dragged it back to the picnic area, after which I just shoved it into my trunk and left it in our garage to be dealt with after Kelvin's return on Sunday :). 

Happy summer!

Celebrating Our Fathers (& more)

 

Papa is home!   He was gone for a week in Puerto Rico (that was his real Father's day gift!) and the kids were so happy to wake up with him home on Father's Day after his long ~24 hours of travel back! 

Kelvin, who was attending a long-postponed (due to COVID) Best Practices meeting (in between drinking piña coladas on the beach and ziplining) shared these snaps with us (after the fact so as to not make us too jealous).

I was thinking of taking the men & boys to an afternoon Humboldt Crabs (baseball) game but Kelvin wasn't sure (after a planned midnight arrival) how tired or jet-lagged he'd be (and ended up really needing his afternoon nap). It was special to have my Father-in-Law here this year, as well, although he's a no-fanfare kind of man (and, in fact, started his Father's Day off by "rummaging" in the toilet; you'll know what I mean from my previous post. Is there anything that could be topped by this heroic act?! Ông nội is truly the best).

We had a quiet family day. Kelvin and his parents went to Mass with the kids and then to the Marsh (which is obviously, per Niall, his favorite place!).

In the late afternoon, we took a family walk/rollerskate in the neighborhood (Niall then wanted to sleep all night while wearing the plastic pads).

I love this shot!

I was able to talk to my own dad on Saturday, which was also my parents' 46th wedding anniversary! 

I loved this visual which a friend from residency shared on Facebook of all the things we do in June.

 We are truly thankful for the health and love of all of our family on this Father's Day and for much to celebrate this month!