The Challenges (and power) of Introversion

I recently came across a good article by Toni Hammer, entitled "The Struggle of the Introverted Mother." She describes well the exhaustion she feels as a mom to her young kids due to her being introverted, and has described (actually she "nailed it") one of the reasons why I feel I have been struggling the last couple of weeks.

It's been really hard for me to be a stay-at-home mom.  While of course I love my son and enjoy spending time with him, especially as he smiles and gets more interactive, it is hard.  He won't  nap independently in a supine position (i.e. if he's down for more than 10 min in the Pack 'n Play, I don't even trust the video monitor... I have to check to see if he's alive) and I feel that the vast majority of the waking hours that aren't nursing or changing him (both of which I actually enjoy!) are spent soothing him to sleep (or back to sleep) for naps when he's obviously drowsy and becomes inconsolable.  "My time" --when I read, catch up on e-mails, etc, is actually the time he's nursing, and otherwise, I try to eat/get dressed/pee/shower/pump/exercise/get a load of laundry in at lightning-fast speeds before he cries and needs me again. When Iver does nap (in the Bjorn or carseat), I don't ever sleep as I feel like I have some me-time that I don't want to waste on sleeping.

I know that I'm not the only mom who feels and has ever felt this way. No one ever said motherhood/parenthood was easy, even for extroverts. I know that you give up a lot of your self, including your interests and your time, and automatically are forced to become less selfish when you become a parent. I just didn't know how much it would profoundly affect me. I have, at times, felt so frustrated I have screamed, cried, and felt so incredibly angry that I scared myself. For the past couple of weeks, I have struggled with seeing how I'm making any difference at all, while feeling that I'm giving everything I have. While I'm used to seeing "what I do all day" by doing my refills and having a clean EMR inbox, and counting how many patients I saw or the number of charts I closed, I can't quantitatively measure the impact that I am having on my son by being at home and being a full-time mom, although I know that I feel that being needed this much is the hardest job I've ever done. While the thoughts that "Maybe I took too much time off work for maternity leave" and "I need a break from being a mom"  and "I suck at this. Maybe I'm not cut out for this mom-thing" have crossed my mind (and I later came across this Huffington Post article which really spoke to me), I know that what I'm doing is most important job in the world right now and what is best for my son and our family. I truly am happy to have been blessed with the opportunity to be a parent. However, I think it has been especially hard for me because I am an introvert.

For me, being a mom has not been hard because of the sleepless nights, the demands on my body from breastfeeding and pumping (ugh) or fatigue, or the amount of laundry. It has been hard for me because of the lack of control or schedule/predictability, and that there is no "alone" time to recharge. Being a medical practitioner is hard for me, too, as interacting with patients all day leaves me generally depleted at the end of every workday with little energy for socializing or doing much of anything. I know that in three weeks when I will go back to being a doctor and continue being a mom, things will only be more challenging, although I do feel that I will be a better mom when I'm a working mom (and a better doctor for being a mom, too). And things will get even more interesting as Iver grows into a toddler who, in different ways, will demand even more attention from me, as Hammer's article describes well. I hope I am up to it.

I just read (in short bursts, during nursing sessions including in the middle of the night!) Susan Cain's book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, and I highly recommend it, especially for those of us who have felt bad/guilty or ever wished we weren't so... well, introverted.  She discusses the power and special skills that introverts (including the notable figures of Rosa Parks, Eleanor Roosevelt, and Albert Einstein) have contributed to the world.  She also discusses techniques of how to make this special set of skills/attributes work well in both the workplace and in the family setting, especially if you are (like I am) married to an extrovert or have kids who are of the quiet type or, on the contrary, who would like social interaction and your attention 100% of the time. The author herself is an introvert and also a happy and seemingly successful professional mom (so it apparently can be done, and done well!).

Kelvin has definitely picked up on the fact that I've been struggling recently and has really stepped it up with Daddy duty in the absence of my parents, who really helped with some key baby-holding when Iver was 4-6 weeks old. Last evening, K gave me some solid time to myself when our changed-and-fed, drowsy-but-refusing-to-nap and fussy son would not go down. It was the best hour I've had in weeks. I was able to go up to our bedroom and have some quiet time to read (fittingly, the book Quiet I mentioned above which I finished this morning) for a good 30-40 minutes before I fell asleep, exhausted. And then I woke up and it was time to be a mom again and put our son to bed for the night. But bless my husband. And bless you in advance, other introvert (and all) moms out there, for any suggestions you have on getting me through these next few years :). I know it can be done. But it will be hard.

Not too long ago, I woke up one day and decided I was going to be attentive to, and present with, my kids the whole day. I was interested in every toy they brought over to show me. I heeded every cry of concern they had over some cartoon character’s possible demise. I listened to them, played their games, and did everything I could to be the best mom ever.
That night I was absolutely exhausted.
It could be because my kids are closing in on two years old and three years old, respectively, and two toddlers would wear anyone out. And that’s part of it, but not all of it.
I know some may scoff at the idea of my being so proud for interacting with my kids all day. I’m their mom. Shouldn’t I do that every day? What’s the big deal? Do I want a medal?
I do, but not for that reason.
The reason this day was so special and so exhausting is because I’m an introvert.
- See more at: http://www.scarymommy.com/the-struggle-of-the-introverted-mother/#sthash.zgnt1EfS.dpuf

Not too long ago, I woke up one day and decided I was going to be attentive to, and present with, my kids the whole day. I was interested in every toy they brought over to show me. I heeded every cry of concern they had over some cartoon character’s possible demise. I listened to them, played their games, and did everything I could to be the best mom ever.
That night I was absolutely exhausted.
It could be because my kids are closing in on two years old and three years old, respectively, and two toddlers would wear anyone out. And that’s part of it, but not all of it.
I know some may scoff at the idea of my being so proud for interacting with my kids all day. I’m their mom. Shouldn’t I do that every day? What’s the big deal? Do I want a medal?
I do, but not for that reason.
The reason this day was so special and so exhausting is because I’m an introvert.
- See more at: http://www.scarymommy.com/the-struggle-of-the-introverted-mother/#sthash.zgnt1EfS.dpuf

Not too long ago, I woke up one day and decided I was going to be attentive to, and present with, my kids the whole day. I was interested in every toy they brought over to show me. I heeded every cry of concern they had over some cartoon character’s possible demise. I listened to them, played their games, and did everything I could to be the best mom ever.
That night I was absolutely exhausted.
It could be because my kids are closing in on two years old and three years old, respectively, and two toddlers would wear anyone out. And that’s part of it, but not all of it.
I know some may scoff at the idea of my being so proud for interacting with my kids all day. I’m their mom. Shouldn’t I do that every day? What’s the big deal? Do I want a medal?
I do, but not for that reason.
The reason this day was so special and so exhausting is because I’m an introvert.

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There is a misconception about introverts which believes we are anti-social. That is totally not the case. We can be very social. I don’t hide in the corner at parties nor do I spend every waking moment wishing I could be by myself. I need people like anyone else.At the crux of being an introvert is the desire — the need — to be alone in order to rejuvenate. Some people can go to a party or a busy mall or an outing with a couple friends and feel completely refreshed and revitalized. For us introverts it is the opposite. Our downtime is sacred. We use the quiet, the stillness, the absence of interaction as a way to renew our bodies and minds. We need that time alone to become ourselves again.
So that day where I chose to be with my kids and attend to their every want and whim, where I was attentive and intuitive, that day took every ounce of energy right out of me. I had zero downtime from the moment I woke up until they went to bed, and by the time they were snoozing I was too tired to do anything to recharge my own batteries.
It’s a daily struggle for me. I want to be a good mom who is watching their every move and hearing every word because, as we’ve all been told, these moments pass all too quickly. I want to watch every musical act my daughter performs and applaud every puzzle piece my son puts in the right place. I want to laugh at every joke and play every game.

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But I also want to take care of me. Taking care of me, though, requires a break which is not always possible. Some days my kids don’t nap. Some days my husband has work and school and isn’t available to give me a reprieve. Some days I have to slog through emotional exhaustion just to make it to bedtime; mommy guilt weighing heavily on me for eying the clock while desiring just a few moments of solitude after my kids go to bed.Being a mom is the best job in the world. It is rewarding and magical at times. For us introverts, though, it is also a daily battle to find the balance between informing our kids we are always available while sometimes our sanity wishes we weren’t.
If you’re a fellow introvert, you know what I’m talking about. Know that it’s okay to desire alone time. Know that it’s okay to be completely drained after a long day of keeping your kids alive and happy and healthy. Know that you are not alone… unless you want to be.
- See more at: http://www.scarymommy.com/the-struggle-of-the-introverted-mother/#sthash.zgnt1EfS.dpuf

Not too long ago, I woke up one day and decided I was going to be attentive to, and present with, my kids the whole day. I was interested in every toy they brought over to show me. I heeded every cry of concern they had over some cartoon character’s possible demise. I listened to them, played their games, and did everything I could to be the best mom ever.
That night I was absolutely exhausted.
It could be because my kids are closing in on two years old and three years old, respectively, and two toddlers would wear anyone out. And that’s part of it, but not all of it.
I know some may scoff at the idea of my being so proud for interacting with my kids all day. I’m their mom. Shouldn’t I do that every day? What’s the big deal? Do I want a medal?
I do, but not for that reason.
The reason this day was so special and so exhausting is because I’m an introvert.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

There is a misconception about introverts which believes we are anti-social. That is totally not the case. We can be very social. I don’t hide in the corner at parties nor do I spend every waking moment wishing I could be by myself. I need people like anyone else.At the crux of being an introvert is the desire — the need — to be alone in order to rejuvenate. Some people can go to a party or a busy mall or an outing with a couple friends and feel completely refreshed and revitalized. For us introverts it is the opposite. Our downtime is sacred. We use the quiet, the stillness, the absence of interaction as a way to renew our bodies and minds. We need that time alone to become ourselves again.
So that day where I chose to be with my kids and attend to their every want and whim, where I was attentive and intuitive, that day took every ounce of energy right out of me. I had zero downtime from the moment I woke up until they went to bed, and by the time they were snoozing I was too tired to do anything to recharge my own batteries.
It’s a daily struggle for me. I want to be a good mom who is watching their every move and hearing every word because, as we’ve all been told, these moments pass all too quickly. I want to watch every musical act my daughter performs and applaud every puzzle piece my son puts in the right place. I want to laugh at every joke and play every game.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

But I also want to take care of me. Taking care of me, though, requires a break which is not always possible. Some days my kids don’t nap. Some days my husband has work and school and isn’t available to give me a reprieve. Some days I have to slog through emotional exhaustion just to make it to bedtime; mommy guilt weighing heavily on me for eying the clock while desiring just a few moments of solitude after my kids go to bed.Being a mom is the best job in the world. It is rewarding and magical at times. For us introverts, though, it is also a daily battle to find the balance between informing our kids we are always available while sometimes our sanity wishes we weren’t.
If you’re a fellow introvert, you know what I’m talking about. Know that it’s okay to desire alone time. Know that it’s okay to be completely drained after a long day of keeping your kids alive and happy and healthy. Know that you are not alone… unless you want to be.
- See more at: http://www.scarymommy.com/the-struggle-of-the-introverted-mother/#sthash.zgnt1EfS.dpuf

Baby's Red Carpet Debut (and 2 month update)

Iver turned 2 months old on Saturday (9 weeks on Sunday) and he got to celebrate the day by being a key participant in our (annual) Oscars party. While it was a little big on him, he got to wear his "tuxedo outfit" given to us by a staff member at my clinic. :)

We almost caught the smile here

For our Red Carpet event, we served pizza, spiced chicken breasts, fruit and veggie trays, and I made a blue cheese dip, cocktail meatballs in the slow cooker, bacon-wrapped & brown sugar-glazed smokies, stuffed mushrooms, salted caramel brownies, sangria, and punch. I will say that party prep is a bit more challenging with a baby who doesn't have a very good/set schedule and who has trouble napping without assistance, but we managed to pull it off!

We had, as always, a costume and trivia contest, and Josh again took home the award for most trivia (he's nearly unbeatable!) and most Oscars categories guessed correctly. Unfortunately, I didn't do a great job with the camera and didn't get all of our guests on camera (nor a photo with both Kelvin [who went as a character in the non-nominated movie "Neighbors"] and me [as a "Wild" hiker]) but here are some snapshots of the event (some of which I stole from others' FB pages!)

Lori and Craig, as Eggs and Winnie from the "Box Trolls" (which I haven't seen)

Bernal (American Sniper, complete with the fake baby which was a hilarious touch if you saw the film) and Brooke (from "Wild")

 Susana and Fred

love the "hats off!" pose here

Jenny, David, & Join (all lookin' sharp!)

Christine and Sara, rockin' the Red Carpet (to the left of the photo is my right leg, the closest I got to being on camera!)

The infants! 

(Sam with Connor, 7 months, Kelvin with a sleeping Iver, and Sean with Jon, 3 months)

  Bernal joined the group with his fake baby...

 ... for which he was awarded a Best Costume Oscar.

Pepper was pretty agitated most of the night and retreated to her bed for respite.

Kelvin's trivia questions were quite hard this year (that is now the fake baby in the Bjorn)

Mandy, Peggy, Amber, and Martha

 

Fred was an awesome baby-holder when Iver awoke from his long nap in the Bjorn!

... and so was Lori

It was a good time, as usual!

And here is an update on our two-month-old. At 2 months, Iver:
-  probably weighs about 11.5-12 lbs (he was 10.5 lbs two weeks ago when he got his shots)
-  still has beautiful gray eyes
-  officially has outgrown most newborn clothes and wears 0-3 month clothes
-  smiles a whole lot more and coos/"talks" (mostly in the mornings)
-  likes to roll to his side (usually left)
-  likes to suck on his hand (usually the left)
- waves his arms around a lot (we call him the "conductor") or puts both of his arms up ("touchdown, Iver" we say!)
- loves to be held and walked around, and loves to be sung to
- wears cloth diapers during the day (and the morning is his poopiest time) and Huggies Snug 'n Dry dispoables at night (usually getting changed once around 3 a.m.)
- is starting to tolerate baths in a very warm room
- will tolerate about 10 min of tummy time, or time on his play mat, bouncy chair, or glider
-  nurses frequently during the day every 1-3 hours, for about 15-20 min on one side
-  has not yet tasted formula but will take a bottle of pumped milk without a problem
- still spits up a good deal (but nothing like he used to!)
- has a little facial rash (likely from rubbing his face in his spit-up) and we've been treating cradle cap with coconut oil and a toothbrush
- seems drowsy and is put to bed usually between 7:30 and 9 pm after reading Goodnight Moon, reciting the Lord's Prayer, and getting an almond oil/lavender massage, and wakes "for good" somewhere between 6:30 and 8 am
-  sleeps about 2-3-hour stretches at night (usually waking between 11-1 am, then at 3, and 6 a.m. to eat) in the Snugglenest in the Pack 'n Play in our room)
-  is a horrible independent napper, needing a lot of soothing to sleep including a pacifier even when incredibly drowsy (but falls asleep easily in the Bjorn or carseat and will conk out for hours; this is driving this mama [who has read all the sleep books] crazy, but I'm hoping it gets better once this fourth "trimester" is over!). He seems to need about 3 discrete naps per day to not get cranky
- brings his parents much joy

milk face (after a spit-up, then face-rub in the burp cloth)

"Snow-ninja" (what he wore outside when it got to be a frigid 40-degree morning here in California!)

with mama

Happy face!

Happy 2 months, little man!

Doggie heaven

 mom with Duncan (left) and Remy, February 2015

In incredibly sad news, my parents lost Duncan, their almost-fifteen-year-old Cairn terrier on Wednesday.  My parents got Duncan as a puppy when I was in college when our first dog, Toccata, died after a good 10 years. Since then, he has certainly brought our family many happy memories. After having to say goodbye to Freya, a younger Cairn, prematurely and a mere year and a half ago in June 2013, it certainly is hard for my parents to mourn the loss of another dog in two years, and makes them relish Remy (an adopted dog they got last year) even more.  Any time I hear about animal illness, suffering, or a death, I feel incredibly sad and fear and dread the day we'll have to say goodbye to our Pepper. 

My Dad wrote an e-mail eulogy to memorialize our precious Duncan (April 2000- 2/18/15).

Hi Gang,

We took Duncan to the vet today to be euthanized. He had been declining for the past 10 months or so, but the pace of the decline quickened in the past three months and was marked by a fairly rapid loss of weight. Two weeks ago he tore an ACL, which further reduced his mobility (he was already suffering from arthritis). For a while he appeared to get better; he was still able to move around slowly on level ground, but we needed to carry him out to his walking area and up and down stairs. On Monday he developed a bad case of diarrhea, which did not improve by today. On Tuesday he had one of his fainting "flops," which were occurring more frequently, and he later had what appeared to be a seizure. He also stopped eating, his greatest delight in life. Multiple systems seemed to be shutting down at about the same time. He was clearly miserable, so we decided not to let him suffer further.

Duncan almost made it to the age of 15, a ripe old age for a dog. Toccata lived only 10 years; Freya, 8. I chose Duncan  (over his more frenetic sister) from the breeder near Richmond because he seemed both friendly and calm--more so than most terriers. He lived up to expectations, and he seemed to be friendly to all creatures great and small--except rabbits. He was always puzzled when another dog did not wag its tail back at him, and the result was two attacks from less friendly canines, the first in Copenhagen a few weeks after he arrived. 

Copenhagen was probably the best time of Duncan's life. He loved walking in the parks, streets, and cemeteries. He was always on the lookout for a discarded slice of pizza, and he would invariably suffer for it afterwards. His favorite walk was in the cemetery next to our apartment house, for his friend Laura would usually be there in the afternoon at her husband's gravesite and would always have a doggie treat for Duncan, who could sense her presence from a long distance. We discovered in Copenhagen that he was a good swimmer, for he jumped right in the castle moat to try to join some ducks while Mom was walking him off leash one morning. He had only one bad habit: sometimes lying at weird angles in our bed and taking up what seemed like half of the space. Oh, and he also snored.

Remy seemed to bond with Duncan during their recent stay at the Paws Awhile kennel near Warrenton. The nuns reported that Remy was often lying on top of Duncan. We noticed some of the same behavior here. At one point both of them were even squeezed together into Duncan's day bed, and they happily shared Mom's lap in the TV room. Tonight Remy seemed to sense Duncan's absence, and he whimpered a bit tonight after his dinner--eaten alone without Duncan around the corner of the kitchen peninsula.

Until the last few months Duncan had been a remarkably healthy and mobile dog. He had a good, long run. He leaves us with fond memories of an ideal pet.

Duncan in Pepper's bed, November 2013

Watching the neighborhood with pal Remy, September 2014

Losing a pet is really like losing a member of your family. Hug your pets a little closer tonight (I think Pepper will be getting an extra treat).

Baby Peers

Kelvin and I have been here in Humboldt for about 3 and a half years. We (or I) work a lot and I will say that it has been a bit different than HS, college, med school, or residency in that it's taken more effort to make quality friends, especially outside of work, since we aren't automatically surrounded by people at our same stages of age, career, or family. However, I will say that, now being parents, we have another whole other group of people (those with children) with whom we now share a common interest and to whom we hope to grow closer.

Iver has several baby (and all boy!) peers, all born within a 6-week period, with whom we hope to spend more time even after maternity leave comes to a close. 

These are the NPS moms and boys (all December babies) at the potluck earlier this month-- (me, Ana with Al and Nina with Bentley; absent was Molly with Levi, who was born a mere 30 min after Iver was!).  We really need a clinic daycare :)

 

We had dinner-and-a-movie night at Sean and Jenna's this past weekend, and got to hang out with baby Jon, who is about 5 weeks ahead of Iver.

It will be great to have these other moms around to share parenting struggles, tips, and advice. Yay for baby peers :)

Got my vaccines!

We recycle, reuse, and reduce waste.
We compost (sort-of).
We drive a Prius.
We use cloth diapers and napkins at home.
We (well, I) use essential oils and had a natural childbirth.
We are 100% breastfeeding.
We live in a Blue State, California.
We don't want to poison our child and want what is best for him.
We believe in science, not sensationalism (and, not that autism has anything to do with vaccines, but we'd rather have an autistic child than one who is dead from a preventable illness).
We vaccinate, and we believe immunizations should be mandatory for ALL (non-immunosuppressed) children in this country and that no parents should be able to opt out, for religious or other "personal belief" reasons.

  

Iver is so happy to be partially protected (with round 1 of vaccines done at 7 weeks earlier this week) from diptheria, tetanus, pertussis, polio,  rotavirus, pneumonia, and Hib otitis media/meningitis).

Yay for vaccines, says he (who will definitely be getting MMR at 6 months in preparation for international travel [he has his passport already!]!

Salted Caramel Ice Cream

Ice cream and salted caramel are just about my two favorite desserts in the world. Arcata Scoop makes an amazing salted caramel ice cream (which might possibly be the best ice cream I've ever eaten), although it is only very rarely on the menu, so I was excited to try my hand at my own. I've blogged before about some other salted caramel goodies, including brownies and butter bars, but I took my first shot at the ice cream this week after reading my friend Eva's baking blog.


I don't have an ice cream maker to churn this for me, so I just mixed by hand every 30-60 min for a few hours during the "freezing" stage, and it tasted great!

Below is the knockoff recipe for Jeni's salty caramel ice cream, as stolen from Eva's blog.

Jeni's salty caramel ice cream - Yield: About 1 quart

• 2 cups whole milk, divided
• 1 Tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon cornstarch
• 1 and 1/2 ounces (3 Tablespoons) cream cheese, softened
• 1/2 teaspoon fine sea salt
• 1 and 1/4 cups heavy cream
• 2 Tablespoons light corn syrup
• 2/3 cup sugar
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract

Directions

First, mix 2 Tablespoons of milk with the cornstarch in a small bowl to make a slurry. Set this aside. Reserve the remaining milk and keep it separate.

In a large bowl, mix together the cream cheese with the sea salt until well combined. Set aside.

In a measuring bowl with a spout, mix together the heavy cream and corn syrup. Set a fine mesh sieve above it and set aside.

In a medium sized saucepan (preferably one with a light colored bottom), add the sugar. Turn the stove to medium-high or high until the sugar begins to melt. DO NOT TOUCH IT (this was very hard for me to obey). The sugar will become liquidy around the edges and turn brownish in color. Once this happens, take a heatproof spatula, and start pushing the liquid toward the center while allowing the (unmelted) sugar to melt. Keep pushing until all the sugar has melted and turns into a deep amber color.

Take the sugar off the stove and very carefully pour in about 1/4 of the heavy cream mixture. The contents will bubble and spit vigorously, but keep stirring. Slowly add the remaining heavy cream mixture, put the saucepan back on the stove and keep mixing until the caramel has completely melted back into the liquid.

Once all the caramel has melted again, add the milk. Allow the mixture to come to a rolling boil and continue to boil for 4 minutes.

Take the saucepan off the stove and add the cornstarch/milk slurry. Mix until everything is well incorporated and put the pan back on the stove. Allow the mixture to come back to a boil and until the liquid becomes slightly thicker, about 1 minute.

Turn off the stove and pour the liquid through the sieve into the large bowl with the cream cheese/salt. Add the vanilla and mix well until everything is fully incorporated.

At this point, you have two options. You can either set the ice cream over an ice bath (pour the contents into a large zip-top bag, seal it shut and place it over a large bowl with ice cubes), or put it in the refrigerator for several hours or overnight (this is what I did).

Once the mixture is completely cool, churn it in your ice cream maker according to the manufacturer's directions. (I don't have an ice cream maker and just mixed by hand every hour or so for a few in the quart-sized container of its destination).

(Pour the ice cream into a container) and set it in the freezer until it has hardened (at least 4 hours).


Enjoy!!

Tummy to play and Back to sleep

My parents were here until yesterday. The house certainly fills empty without them. I will have just about 6 weeks on my own being a full-time-mommy, with a couple of trips to the Bay Area and OC in there, before I start back at work.

 including the grand-dog!

Our weather has taken a turn for the worse, which makes it a bit hard to get out and get some nice walks in. I do find that trying to get out of the house for something, whether it be a doctor's appointment (although I'm certainly not trying to make extra of those! I had my postpartum check and Iver gets his shots next week), clinic potluck (hugely fun yesterday, and I'd never seen so many veggies at a potluck!), or quick trip to the library or store (I haven't ambitiously tackled a full grocery trip alone with the little one), makes things less isolating. Otherwise it's me, the kiddo, diapers, nursing, laundry, fixing meals one-handed, Netflix, reading, and watching the clock until K comes home so that I can perhaps shower before the day is over (I'm too nervous to do it even during Iver's naps!)... which does get somewhat monotonous.

Carolyn at NPS gets to hold the little guy

While still taking extended naps, Iver is having more awake time, so I'd like to be more actively "playing" with him although I'm not the most creative person and and have turned to researching/perusing websites and looking for books on the subject for a good approach.

My Dad made construction-paper flash cards in contrasting colors for Iver to peruse. We also have discovered the classical music channel on cable (listening to which, my parents swore, made me an orderly person) so that's usually playing downstairs in the background for him.

All suggestions from seasoned parent-veterans or child psychology experts about brain-stimulating activities and toys for particular ages are welcome!

Here is the little guy doing tummy time on his playmat (thanks, Melynda!)

"Mama, my neck got tired!"

I've started to see some fleeting intentional smiles, mostly in the morning and when I change his diaper (if he's well-fed), which is obviously a really hard time to take a sanitary photo. So here are a couple of slightly blurry iPhone morning smiles.

Awkward angle, I know, but here is Iver snoozing at dinner one night...

... and here is him taking a nap beside Pepper, which might be one of my favorite photos so far.

The little man actually gave us a great stretch of sleep last night-- going down at 9:30 pm until 1:30 a.m., eating and getting changed, and then sleeping from 2:30 until 6!  This would be fabulous if it would continue...