Four-year-old Funnies

Four years old is a pretty magical age. Our resident four-year-old, Iver, cracks us up daily with the things he picks up on and says back to us.   Here are just a few:

One night, we were reading (even though Easter is long over) a Berenstain Bears "Easter Story" book.  There's a part where on Palm Sunday, the crowds shout "Hosanna!" which the books translates (not totally accurately) as "Save us!"
Iver later says thoughtfully, "So if a bear enters our house, we should say, 'Hosanna'!"

We were walking the dog and stroller over the weekend and saw a U-HAUL in the driveway of a corner house.
"What's that?" Iver asked.
"It's a U-HAUL, which is like a box you can pack your things in and attach to your car when you move."
Iver: "Did you guys do that when we moved here?"
Us: "No, we paid a moving company to pack and move our things for us."
Iver: "Well, next time I think you should really save the money and go for the U-HAUL."
(Glad you've inherited the thrifty gene, young son!)

I think on the same walk, he was riding his bike and as he pedaled past and then ahead of us, he shouted, "YOU SNOT, YOU LOST!!"
Confused, we replied, "You mean, 'you snooze, you lose'?"

(He also refers to my neti pot for my allergies as my "potty nose.")

You know he's got a good, curious medical mind when he asked, "Hey. Why is it that when you drink a lot of water, you have to pee soon after, although when you eat something, you don't have to poop until like
12 hours later?"
(a discussion about the workings of the urinary and GI systems ensued).


One morning at breakfast, it was, "Hey mama, why did you and papa get married? Did you go to a fair, see him, and he was a doctor, so that's what happened?"
 
He is also always saying, "No, no, no! You guys are misunderstanding me!"
It's really cute.

 

Gloria-us-ly unremarkable weekend

Long weekends are pretty exhausting for parents with small children ("the days are long but the years are short..."). I remember feeling similarly last year. I'm grateful for the men and women who have lost their lives for this country, but I don't feel like I need another school-is-out holiday as a result, thank-you-very-much.


I have come to terms with the fact that weekends (especially three-day ones) are not the time to expect that I can actually rest/recharge, or get anything significant done (that's for the workweek, thanks to excellent day care). Having this low bar has made it easier to just live in the moment(s), play endlessly with the kids, and try to enjoy it, although I truly crave quiet/alone time on stretches like this.

Iver and I went to a children's production of Aladdin on Friday night at Arcata Christian School.

While we stayed out a bit later than usual bedtime, it was (as expected) a hit with our theater-loving guy. The girl who played Genie stole the show.

Then our friend Gloria, one of Iver's favorite people in the world, drove up from the Bay area to stay with us and reconnect with some Humboldt friends.

On Saturday around noon, we (and everyone else in Humboldt, as evidenced by the parking situation) went to the Arcata plaza's parade/kick-off of the Kinetic Sculpture Race, which every Memorial Day weekend features contraptions racing on land and sea to Ferndale over three days. 

Open Door had a Squid-mobile

It got windy.

Iver and Gloria had time for a lot of art projects.

Little Mermaid-Coloring

Isn't this anime drawing by Gloria (and coloring in the lines by Iver) incredible? (Scan-worthy!)

Painting

Painting rocks in the garage

Dressing up 

 

Exercising

Playing hide-and-seek

On Sunday, Gloria took Iver out for an afternoon date at the beach (with Sheri and Van) and to the home of her former landlord, Joan, which had a hot tub (Iver's absolute favorite thing).

 

 (Meanwhile, Kelvin, Niall, and I joined some friends at Fieldbrook Winery on a sunny afternoon).

Smiley Niall-y also warmed up to Gloria.

The weekend also included having some friends (Kelly and Matt) over for dinner, making blueberry pancakes (below is pictured my first-ever attempt at Minnie Mouse), grocery shopping, walking the dog, doing laundry, a trip to the mall, playing indoor games, tennis- and basketball-watching, and lots of other unremarkable stuff.

Saturday night, Gloria fell asleep on our couch and when she woke up said, "Whoa. I'm so tired. Is this what it's like having kids?"

"Pretty much," I replied.

 

Who else is looking forward to Tuesday?

Lightning (car-whacking) Wednesdays

A little over a year ago, I had one of the worst Wednesdays on record, when I (about 36 weeks' pregnant) was on my way to work and my brand-new car was T-boned by a driver who didn't check behind her when reversing out of a parking spot in the lot that our clinic shares with the bank.

This week, I had another terrible car-Wednesday. It was a long, busy (as usual) clinic day, with my usual medical assistant out of town and my running a bit late (and way behind on charting). Around 3:55 p.m., with a couple of patients left in rooms, our office manager told me, "Uh, Tara... I think someone just backed into your (parked) car in the parking lot. The woman was trying to track down the owner, and when we saw that there were child seats in it, we figured it was yours."

WHAT???!

Apparently the woman had (per her report) gotten out of her vehicle to access the nearby ATM, and her car somehow did not make it to the "park" gear. She claims that she looked back and her car had self-reversed about 100 feet, jumping a curb and hitting my car, which was parked like this:

WITH A DOUBLE-CURB AND A TREE IN FRONT OF IT! 

(distance from ATM to my car)

 

I have a good-sized dent in the rear panel on the driver's side (which is opposite last year's site of impact), while her car/bumper are just fine (as it was last year with the other driver).

 

Let's just say that while I have felt a little underwater lately, juggling bad seasonal allergies, exhausting family medicine clinic, never-ending inboxes and coverage, e-mails, hospital meetings, OB call, whiny kids, and household duties, just about the last thing I needed was to be spending another many hours dealing with car insurance, repairs, and the like (I just about cried at these news but held it together for the last couple of patients after the woman and I exchanged insurance information).  Thankfully, our insurance policy allows for a car rental when my car will be in the shop (although it's still drive-able, while it wasn't last year), and this repair seems more straightforward than the last one.  It's also a blessing that it wasn't a hit-and-run, and the woman was incredibly apologetic (and very embarrassed at what happened), and as (like last time), her insurance company should be responsible for all of the repairs and my deductible will likely be waived. 

Nevertheless, I bet that my insurance company is wondering how in the heck I could be so unfortunate to be hit for two years in a row at the parking lot at my place of employment.  I really wasn't sure that lightning could strike twice...

... but I'm seriously thinking of working (or at least parking) elsewhere from now on. This beautiful car seems to be a magnet for inattentive bank patrons.

A Rare Lunch Out

Mom guilt (especially working-mom guilt) is real. Except for when kids are asleep, a lot of moms (I for sure) feel bad about taking time for ourselves, to recharge and reconnect with other friends. We feel bad that we're not spending (or wanting to spend) all of our waking, non-working hours with our little ones, especially on the weekend. We worry that our husbands/partners aren't going to feed the kids nutritious food or that they will be able to handle their meltdowns or needs if we "choose" to be away (but we really don't given them enough credit).

Kellie (a friend and truly awesome stay-at-home mom, which I could never be) wanted to celebrate her birthday this weekend with lunch out, and I went, even though it wasn't technically during "nap time" for either of my children.  The kids did great (and Kelvin even got them both to nap by the time I was on my way home!).  I enjoyed conversation with some wonderful ladies (most of whom were moms, too), and we enjoyed a nice meal uninterrupted by children's needs or food on the floor or in our hair or on our clothing.

It's hard to drop the guilt, but I need to do this more! Thanks for the invitation to get out, Kellie!

Pro-woman, period.

I am a woman.
I am a mother.
I am a physician whose job it is to care for for pregnant women and babies and provide contraception.

I am thankful to have never been in the position to have an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy.
I know and have treated many people (including those already mothers) who have had one, and who have chose to end it, for circumstances that are between them, their partner, and their doctors.
I have known and cared for women who terminated their very wanted pregnancies for the sake of babies that had conditions incompatible with life.
I have also been there as mothers have birthed full-term babies with lethal anomalies, including one known to have anencephaly (without a brain), who lived just hours, and found it heartbreaking.
I have treated and cared for women who suffered preterm, pre-viable membrane rupture or other pregnancy complications and chose to induce labor, knowing that their fetus would not survive outside the womb.
I have held the hands of courageous women who birthed peri-viable babies and chose to resuscitate them, not knowing what the future held for that child, but having faith they made the best decision for their family. I have also stood by those who made the decision not to resuscitate and chose comfort care.
I support all of those women and their choices.

Pregnancy and childbirth are risky (legal abortion is about 14 times safer than childbirth), and no one should be forced to be a mother, which is the hardest of all jobs, and can be devastating for marriages and families, careers, mental health, life, and has implications for our deteriorating environment.
(The overwhelming majority, i.e. more than 95% of women in the three years post-procedure, do not regret their abortion, although the decision may be hard for many).
I have cared for women who have died or nearly died due to pregnancy or childbirth (one a mom of a toddler who was a surrogate for an adoptive couple), as well as known and treated women who lost their very desired full-term babies during labor.

I have known and cared for exceptional women who have made the heartbreaking choice of giving away a baby who moved inside them even after they held them for the first time.
I support adoption and counsel women about the option.
I have also known infertile couples whose hopes for adoption fell through because to ask a woman to give up a baby she carried to term is unbelievably hard, and she ultimately couldn't go through with that choice. This choice hurts many hearts but it is her body and her choice.
I have cared for and treated women who continued pregnancies conceived after sexual assault and who loved those babies even though they didn't love themselves.
I have attended births of young women as young as fourteen, as well as those of other women that made the choice to become young, single parents-- because their partners wanted nothing to do with the pregnancy or baby but it was ultimately her choice.
I have cared for women who have conceived on reliable use of long-acting contraception (including IUDs and after "permanent" methods like tubal ligation or partner vasectomy) after taking every precaution, and thankfully had legal options.
I have treated and cared for abused and neglected children whose mothers (and fathers) were struggling to provide for them, and also those who failed to thrive in the foster care system.
I have not always agreed with the choices women have made for themselves and babies due to medical conditions in pregnancy, including their mode or location of delivery, and their refusal to consent to certain evidence-based medical interventions that would keep them healthy.
However, I support all of these women. Her body, her baby, her choice.

Men cause 100% of unplanned pregnancies.
Republican (white) men (and a few complicit women) are passing heartbreaking "heartbeat" bills in states cross this nation intending to criminalize abortion for women and their doctors, while about 70% of Americans support national access to legal abortion as decided decades ago by Roe vs. Wade.

These same right-wing extremists also refuse to find ways to make contraception more accessible and affordable, and refuse to help support children, women, and families to afford early childhood services (like health care, lactation support and nutrition, parental leave, affordable childcare, and public education). They refuse to regulate guns so that we might prevent mass-murders of schoolchildren. They are anti-choice and pro-forced-birth, but mostly certainly not pro-life and not pro-women.

I am most definitely not apathetic.
I am sick and totally enraged.
Elections (especially state and local elections in red states) obviously have (life-altering) consequences.
I vote like my life and my patients' lives depend on it and I will continue to donate to women's rights organizations (here are some good resources if you want to support women and their choices, particularly in places the deep south where women are being silenced and their human and civil rights grotesquely violated: National Network of Abortion Funds, Yellowhammer Fund in Alabama, Planned Parenthood, ACLU) so that this country doesn't regress to the ages of back-alley abortions and life of the Handmaid's Tale. 

I will continue to treat and care for women with compassion and without judgment, supporting their choices and autonomy (I also highly recommend Willie Parker's book "Life's Work: A Moral Argument for Choice," by Christian reproductive justice advocate and abortion provider in the South), as is required by my profession (and my faith).
Listen to women. Elect women. Choose women. Trust women.
Support science. Speak truth. Pray. Care. Try not to despair.
I have always been and will always be pro-choice.
I am pro-woman.

Three amigos

My three guys love to be together!

Here is a recent bedtime reading session. Niall has suddenly become very interested in books.

 

 (Pepper has a cone on because she has a raw paw from chewing).

On Sunday, we spent the late afternoon  at Sean and Jenna's place, where the kids (and Kelvin) enjoyed going down the living room slide that Sean built!

Three amigos, for sure!