Wacky World & Wednesday

It was "Wacky Wednesday" at the kids' daycare today.

Iver decided to wear his shirt backwards and wear one sock with mismatched shoes.

Niall wanted to match and showcase the Dr. Seuss book.

I have just been thinking about what a wacky world we live in right now.

Facebook reminded me that six years ago (to date!), Kelvin and I were cruising the Yangtze River on vacation in China, kidless and carefree, and passing through Wuhan.  Wow, how our world (and lives) have changed (and we will never forget Wuhan).

There have been so many articles and words written about how our (and our children's) lives will be affected by the pandemic. I sometimes don't know that there's anything that hasn't yet been already said. It's hard to realize that there may be an "other side" of these wacky, strange times.  (I've also been reading Karen Thompson Walker's fictional The Age of Miracles, in which the world is changing with longer days/nights which touches and alters all aspects of human life and which is eerily fitting right now. I recommend you read it and see the parallels). To us adults, who have lived a long pre-pandemic existence, our worlds have been shattered. However, our children seem to be somewhat blissfully un-stressed, despite all of our conversations and the changes in their lives.  Iver surely will have some memories of this quaran-time and the life that preceded it, but I wonder how Niall will reflect on how the world changed during this time (or remember at all his pre-COVID existence).

I wonder and (while I'm not a poet!) I wrote this short poem for my kids:

Do you remember a time...
when we could touch our friends, teachers, and neighbors, 
when we could gather to celebrate birthdays, 
stand fewer than six feet apart,
visit libraries and theaters,
go to restaurants and break bread together, 
and worship in the company of others?

Do you remember a time...
when we didn't have to wear masks all the time, 
and we could see others' faces,
instead of only hearing their voices 
and watching their eyes for the hints of a smile?

Do you remember a time...
when we could travel to far away places, 
when we could sit on a plane, 
to visit our loved ones in another part of the state or country, 
and when our words (and worlds) and connection were not confined to screens?

Do you remember a time...
when we could plan things in advance
and say "yes, we can do that" instead of 
"maybe, possibly, we'll see..."?

Or, when you are older, will you remember this time when we could do none of those things?

I wonder.

A friend posted the following on  Facebook, which I loved as it celebrates the "upside" of this, which is how I guess many children may experience these wacky times despite how unsettled we (adults) feel. 

Child - "How old are you, Grandpa?"

Grandpa - "I'm 81, dear."
Child - "So does that mean you were alive during the Coronavirus?"
Grandpa - "Yes, I was."
Child -... "Wow. That must have been horrible, Grandpa. We were learning about that at school this week. They told us about how all the schools had closed. And moms and dads couldn't go to work so didn't have as much money to do nice things.

They said that you weren't allowed to go and visit your friends and family and couldn't go out anywhere.
They told us that the shops and stores ran out of lots of things so you didn't have much bread, and flour, and toilet rolls.
They said that summer holidays were cancelled. And they told us about all those thousands of people that got very sick and who died.
They explained how hard all the doctors and nurses and all essential workers worked, and that lots of them died, too.
That must have been so horrible, grandpa!"
Grandpa - "Well, that is all correct. And I know that because I read about it when I was older.
But to tell you the truth I remember it differently...
I remember playing in the garden for hours with mom and dad and having picnics outside and lots of bbqs.
I remember making things and fishing with my Dad and baking with my Mom.
I remember making forts and learning how to do hand stands and back flips. I remember having quality time with my family.
I remember Mom's favorite words becoming 'Hey, I've got an idea...'
Rather than 'Maybe later or tomorrow I'm a bit busy'.
I remember making our own bread and pastry. I remember having movie night three or four times a week instead of just one.
It was a horrible time for lots of people you are right.
But I remember it differently."

Remember how our children will remember these times.
Be in control of the memories they are creating right now, so that through all the awful headlines and emotional stories for so many that they will come to read in future years, they can remember the happy times.

- Author unknown 

These are seriously strange times that are complicated for adults, but they can still be simple and joyful for our children who have our presence and attention.  It'll be interesting for us all to look back from "the other side" (if/when we get there).

Two Funny!

"show me your muscles" photo

Niall was being particularly poky at dinner one night, doing very little eating in favor of messing with his food by grabbing and dumping it out all over his tray and then saying he was "all done."
Kelvin said, "Niall! You hardly even touched your food."
Niall replied, showing us the food-crusted and slimy palms of his hands and fingers, "NO, BUT I DID!!"

Kelvin also served him breakfast one day and said, "Here you go, baby boy!"
Niall replied, "I am a BIG BOY, NOT a baby boy!"

Potty training is going well, except one naked day, a little nugget came out of Niall when he was climbing on the sofa before he recognized he had to go (we rushed him to the toilet, where he finished his BM). He is still learning to use appropriate pronouns but says not infrequently," 'Member [remember] when my [I] pooped on the couch?!"  When we asked him if he pees on the potty at school, he says, "NO! IN THE URNINAL (urinal)!"

Iver had given up napping but, now combined in a small class with some younger preschool kids, he was encouraged to nap/rest on his cot at daycare (which we don't really like, because he then takes forever to fall asleep at night).  This week, his teachers have been letting him stay up to do "art" or notes during the other kids' naptime.  This note (to a daughter of a colleague) made us laugh.

A week or so ago, Iver was being very persistent in arguing with me about when I'd check on him after he got into bed (he was lobbying for every 15 minutes after 8 p.m. although I was declining).
I told him, "Iver, you've been arguing with me for five minutes about this, which is really exhausting. Why should I compromise with you?"  He replied, "No, I've only been arguing with you for four minutes. I stared at 7:55 and now it's 7:59."   As I often am with this super strong-willed (and literal, numbers-oriented) child, I was frustrated but this one made me laugh.

The kids also decorated the daycare door for Earth Day.  Except it's not May. 

Three times this week, I have turned into our neighborhood to see a woman walking a llama down the sidewalk. I kid you not! I wish I'd taken a photo, but I've been driving all three times and was so flummoxed I couldn't get it together to stop in time. I have seen a (I assume this) llama in a neighborhood backyard before, but I'd never seen it out for a stroll!  Even the llama is having cabin fever, it seems! There used to be a guy in Arcata who walked yaks, but I haven't seen him in years. Only in Humboldt...

(Kelvin finally caught a photo)

And here are some matching pictures of the boys. Niall, who usually gets dressed second, often wants to match his brother, which is cute.

He also wants to imitate his moves!

(No kids were harmed in the taking of these photos). 

My sister-in-law Katherine sent me some Ramblin' Mama quotes

These kids sure make me tear my hair out a lot of the time (especially when trapped indoors), but also are a source of a lot of levity and smiles.

Earth Day 2020

Allergy sufferers unite!

We have a bunch of allergy sufferers in this house!

I have terrible tree and grass pollen allergies as determined by allergy testing a few years into living here in Redwoods country (I've had bad springtime hayfever in most cities in which I've lived, including Richmond and Sacramento, but it's the worst here in Humboldt, and lasts longer). Usually in about March, I start to get the runny nose, which progresses to a dry cough and severe ocular and eyelid itching along with profound fatigue and a brain-foggy feeling (which hit hard this past weekend in what I call "pollen-palooza!").

My allergy regimen (which I also recommend to patients) includes
- neti pot sinus rinses ideally twice per day
- Flonase or Nasocort inhaled corticosteroid nasal spray
- oral cetirizine (we use Allertec over-the-counter from Costco)
- prescription oral montelukast (Singulair)
- olopatadine antihistamine eye drops (Patanol, which was formerly by prescription, although I understand it may be over-the-counter now)
- pollen goggles when outside/walking the dog
(I would love to do my showering at night to ensure that no hair-pollen gets on my pillow, but find that it doesn't work so well with my preferred exercise schedule)

When I was first given the allergy testing results, I was offered allergy desensitization therapy, but I wasn't able to commit to traveling to Eureka weekly for weeks-months-years on end due to my work schedule. I've continued to consider the idea, every time my eyeballs and eyelids get as itchy as they are now!  Last year, my friend and colleague Val stuck a couple of acupuncture needles in my face and ear to see if it would help (it did not really, but I was desperate!).  Last year, I suffered late into the summer (July or so), although every year I hope that allergy season will be more short-lived, as I can barely tolerate being outside for any length of time, especially with dry/windy weather.

I guess "sheltering in place" makes it easier to stay in and at home and in some sense, as there are no outdoor events, barbeques, etc., to suffer through, I should deal better this year;  however, the kids still really like and need to go outside to the yard or on walks or bike rides, so I just take the hit.

Pepper also has developed severe skin allergies in the last few years, to where she gets very itchy, scaly paws, legs, and face, and does a lot of licking.

We've tried various treatments for her, including changing up her dog food, adding fish oil capsules to breakfast and dinner, applying opical antifungal and anti-inflammatory ointments, topical coconut oil, oatmeal and other medicated shampoos (including Chlorhexidine/antifungal preps, as well as Phytosphingosine 0.1% seborrhea shampoo), and bathing her up to every other day.  A few months ago, we started not-inexpensive immunosuppressive treatments via the vet, first with the injectable Cytopoint (lokivetmab) every 4- 8 weeks, which initially seemed to help (but relief didn't last) and now with oral Apoquel (oclacitinib) tablets, which she will spit out sneakily.

We had an allergy panel drawn on Pepper a couple of weeks ago, and she is extremely allergic to oat pollen, willow, and acacia pollen, among other tree and grass pollen, dust mites, and various fungi. Along with frequent vacuuming (which we're doing with our robotic Neato mostly), we have now ordered a supply of tailored immunotherapy drops to administer over the next year or so to, with hope, desensitize her to these environmental allergens and improve her quality of life (who wants to live in a a cone??).

Iver seems to have some environmental allergies (probably mostly dust) in addition to the oral peanut allergy (although we haven't challenged it recently), but it's well managed with periodic antihistamines (and has never needed an Epipen).  Kelvin seems to be mildly affected by tree pollen this time of year, but copes well with oral meds alone.

Wish us allergy sufferers here some luck! (I realized we don't have many pictures of our pup, overshadowed as she is by our children, and our friend Serena just lost her dog, so we made a point to take some, not just because we suffer together).

Pandemic Pause-itivity

Keeping Quiet, by Pablo Neruda

Now we will count to twelve
and we will all keep still
for once on the face of the earth,
let’s not speak in any language;
let’s stop for a second,
and not move our arms so much.

It would be an exotic moment
without rush, without engines;
we would all be together
in a sudden strangeness.

Fishermen in the cold sea
would not harm whales
and the man gathering salt
would not look at his hurt hands.

Those who prepare green wars,
wars with gas, wars with fire,
victories with no survivors,
would put on clean clothes
and walk about with their brothers
in the shade, doing nothing.

What I want should not be confused
with total inactivity.
Life is what it is about;
I want no truck with death.

If we were not so single-minded
about keeping our lives moving,
and for once could do nothing,
perhaps a huge silence
might interrupt this sadness
of never understanding ourselves
and of threatening ourselves with death.
Perhaps the earth can teach us
as when everything seems dead
and later proves to be alive.

Now I’ll count up to twelve
and you keep quiet and I will go.

We are heading into our fifth week of our quarantine (while California's Governor Gavin Newsom put the shelter-in-place order on March 19th, we were staying close to home a week or before that). Like some women say about the last month of pregnancy (that it feels like a year!), the last six weeks have felt like an eternity, as though time has almost stopped altogether. The above poem is by the Chilean poet Pablo Neruda and keeps coming up for me in these times; I had actually never even heard about this man until K and I took a city tour in Santiago in February (on our kid-free trip in February, which seems like a lifetime ago).

The increased at-home time has definitely been a big adjustment, but I think the initial shock of the change was the hardest for me and the family has adapted well as time has passed.  Our days and pace have definitely changed (for the better, I think!). While this time (really just weekends for us) has confirmed that I am not cut out to be a stay-at-home parent ever, we have adjusted to spending lots of time at home with littles. The boys are playing actually quite a lot together (sometimes well, sometimes with screaming), as little Niall gets more talkative and interactive, which is really sweet to see. Yesterday, I heard from our bedroom "No! That's dangerous, Iver!"  There is lots of art. Constant snacks. Living room forts. Climbing and chasing. Bubbles. Bike rides. Reading. Magnet tiles and building. Potty training is going well (rare and only pee accidents). Kelvin and I have suggested getting outside for a hike or something in open air a few times, and Iver has declined, perfectly content to stay nearby at home ("I like this Coronavirus time," he said at one point!).

While Kelvin has stayed incredibly busy with work meetings about institution-wide COVID-19 planning and workflow adjustments (which change day to day and sometimes minute to minute, it seems), which is fairly exhausting for us all, some of our actual work days don't seem quite so chaotic.  Doing phone or video visits with patients actually is pretty efficient without all of the vitals-taking and shuffling patients' physical locations within the clinic, even though it comes with challenges like doing the majority of communication with staff remotely via chat-message or in writing as we're physically separated from one another. Patients have seemed to really like the option of virtual visits, particularly for mood follow-ups and concerns for which a physical exam is less important, and I'm hoping that telehealth still has a role for our clinic in the months to come. This workflow also allows us to turn MyChart (patient-confidential e-mail) work, which has previously been done outside of clinic visits, into billable encounters, and this has saved me a lot of time/effort.

I have had a few slow clinic days with less than an entirely full schedule, which has afforded me more time for thoughtful, rather than rushed, patient care and has led to me feeling far less harried and burned out (even enjoying what I do, at times!) doing family medicine. I feel like not seeing as many people in person has really made the infrequent "in-person" visits more rewarding (even when we're wearing full-on face masks and face shields, which really terrifies the young children and adds a layer of distance with those we do touch).  I've been able to actually do some dedicated COVID-19 medical reading while on the job rather than always on the fly on devices at home, trying to stay up on current epidemiological trends, public health reporting data, and national medical guidelines, particularly in the world of obstetrics (as well as reading the hundreds of e-mails per day due to COVID stuff).

I think that for us people who tend to try to be "productive," this pandemic has been a pretty big eye-opener. I've been majorly guilty in my lifetime of not really feeling entitled to "relax," and multitasking to the point of stressing myself out, even trying to get work done at home while kids are running around and trying to tick off items on a never-ending to-do list.  It's been incredibly refreshing to have been forced to SLOW DOWN and just "be still." I now never plan to get anything of substance done during the weekends, unless the kids are asleep.  I am not getting exhausted by constant task-switching which has real psychological detriments, as I feel in some ways that time has stopped and everybody is on "pause."  I am doing my work in dedicated bursts and time during a workday, and feel much more able to unplug from my computer/phone and pass the evenings quietly and restfully rather than task-tackling (some things are just not able to be accomplished right now anyway due to closures!). I'm contemplating a "technology sabbath" of sorts. There are fewer meetings (at least in-person ones; Zoom still runs our lives), no activities to plan to go to or to which to shuttle kids, and nothing that we feel we are "missing out on." It's really nice to just be at home and live.

Kelvin in Zoom attire, doing residency interviews from home

Check out the sweats, and the tiny kids' heads on the camera screen...

I have been trying to escape from the constant barrage of e-mails, news, and social media to consume some quality (or at least fun) books and entertainment. I appreciate many genres of books, but as I tend to read and watch books and movies with heavier content, I welcome any suggestions on lighter, fun things you have read or watched recently. While the libraries are closed and I'm not a book-buyer in general, I've been able to download e-books for Kindle from the library system (although at times, the selection isn't great with many holds on popular books). Three books I read this month were Herman Koch's The Dinner, (a bit of a dark, suspenseful fictional read) Maria Semple's Today will be Different (pure hilarity. One of her other books, Where'd you go, Bernadette, which I read a few years ago, was also fun and has been made into a movie), and Kate Bowler's Everything Happens for a Reason, the memoir of a Christian professor (and new mother) battling stage IV colon cancer, and, while not really light, it was material which I'm emotionally able to handle now and which was really touching. Next up is  Nicole Chung's All You Can Ever Know, a non-fiction book about a Korean adoptee and her re-connection with her birth family.  On a recommendation of a friend from work, I started watching an Australian comedy-drama series on Netflix called Offspring (which follows a fairly awkward but endearing OB-GYN and her romantic and family relationships), and it's highly amusing (I binge-watched season two in the evenings last weekend).

I have been thinking about purchasing a piano for a while now, ever since I re-connected with my parents' piano when at their house around Christmas. While some people are currently contemplating "quarantine pets,"  I've been contemplating the quarantine keyboard! I'm hopeful that one or both of my children will be interested in taking lessons in the future (I started at age 6, I believe), although obviously, hiring a teacher at this point is not an option. I think that one of the newer weighted-key digital pianos may be the way to go for now (although I'd prefer an acoustic upright), and they're available online. However, I'd really like to support a local business if possible (but all are presently closed), so the piano search is on pause for now but a future dream of mine...

The uncertainty of tomorrow is hard to swallow for the planners in this household (with thoughts to decrease need to use my google calendar/tech, I actually bought a weekly paper planner for 2020 in January. It wasn't the best-planned move, it turns out!).  But in some ways, because we really can't plan anything, we have to just...pause.  I am not sure if/when we will ever get to travel or go on vacation again. Maybe it's good to take a break (the environmentalist in me was feeling a bit guilty for the earth due to all of the air travel we've enjoyed in the past several years). We don't have any future big trips planned, and we can't fathom how one could anticipate what the country and world will look like in three months, six months, or a year from now.

With schools closed, businesses closed, and our lives different (and slower in many ways), I'm trying to re-set, just live in the moment, and breathe (like mother earth is doing, it seems!). Pausing can be a really positive thing!  Let's all do more "keeping quiet."  Our souls need it!

Easter Weekend Quarantine

2020 will be a year long remembered for its spring (obviously, we don't know what the summer-fall will hold yet). It's the year of our first quarantine.

The kids are doing surprisingly well with the stay-at-home order. Iver even told me he "liked this whole coronavirus thing" as he's been ultra-content to draw, read, play indoors, and stay close to home riding bikes with his parents' full presence.  They are even playing together for short bursts of time (although there definitely is fighting and screaming, too), which feels like the start of a different phase of life. 

We actually had a lovely and relaxing Easter Weekend.

On Saturday, the kids decided to wear matching "Koalified" t-shirts (The one that Niall is wearing was one of Iver's absolutely favorite tees to wear for several years).

(gleeful with switched pants)

As kids are early risers (the days are long, but the years are short...) and as we're in a very remote area, we felt it was safe to get out of the house for a bit and burn some energy at Moonstone beach in the morning hours.

While we saw a handful of surfers and other dog-walkers, everyone was well over 6 feet apart, and the kids loved frolicking in the sand/mud, climbing rocks, and Pepper also loved feeling the sand on her paws.  Fresh air and nature are so good for the soul, especially when you're mostly trapped indoors.

On Easter morning, the kids both slept past 6 a.m. The Easter Bunny (apparently an Essential Worker) delivered (even though, while she did a good job of acquiring goods prior to the quarantine, she fell asleep before putting out the baskets and had to sneak them into the living room around breakfast time).

 Iver was sooo excited the Easter bunny had come (even though he asked us if it was us).

The goodies included some bath bombs, egg stampers,  bunny fruit snacks, and Easter-/ bunny-themed books.

This is our fairly extensive Easter/springtime book library built over the past few years! (Some are books from my childhood that my mom saved and passed down to us).

Iver had dyed Easter eggs at school and while he won't eat eggs, requested to do it at home, too. He happily drew and colored on them (while Niall had more interest in smashing the shells and eating them than decorating them!).

We brought out this book, gifted during a past Easter, for some design ideas.

 Easter morning art!

Aunts Kat and Theresa had sent this cute card with some Asian food-craft packets (Popin' cookin'!)

 

 I listened to New Heart Church's Easter Service via Facebook Live.

The Easter weather was spectacular, and we spent a lot of time in our backyard.

It's lovely to see the kids play side-by-side without fighting.

We staged another private backyard Easter Egg hunt.

We allowed the kids a few gummy worms.

We escaped the house one more time in the late afternoon to drop off a book at the Johnsons' house.

We spent a few minutes, social distance-style, chatting in the driveway, and Kellie sent me this selfie.  It was so nice to connect face-to-face, even from the appropriate distance. Whatever benefits technology like Zoom or Facetime confer us, these platforms do not afford the same positive effects as seeing your friends' faces, even from several meters apart.

We truly had a blessed day on this most joyous of holidays (even in quarantine). Let us all remember that, despite the darkness of the times, the Light will come.  Happy Easter to all!