Home(less?) after the holidays... and notes on dogs

I really think sometimes that I am homeless. At least I feel like it. I had never lived more than 3 consecutive years in one place until I was 14 years old, which is when my family moved to McLean, VA. I went to high school here at McLean High and then for three years while I was in college in Richmond, my parents and sis still lived in the house here in McLean. So when the question "Where are you from?" comes (very common recently as I go on all these interviews and meet bazillions of people), I usually pause... and then answer "I went to high school and college in Virginia," thus quite artly (I think :)) avoiding the true question "Where are you from?" WHERE AM I FROM??? Anyway, back to homes...

Coming back from Mexico was really, really weird. I was coming "home" to the only house which I can really call "home." It was strange when my parents moved to Denmark, because the apartment (their apartment) that I visited there was really "their" new house, one in which I had never lived. But this one in McLean I had actually inhabited! My parents rented this house to various tenants (some good, some bad... .ask me later for stories!) while they were overseas, but moved back in in July of 2006 and made some changes which were immediately apparent when I walked in for the first time a few days ago!

My room was no longer my room. No shrines to Tara or anything :) It is now a pseudo-office. There is no more purple sponge-paint-on-light-blue on the walls, no loft bed, no more childish stuffed animals. In their place are my mom's rollerboard desk, a day bed, and lots of stuff that doesn't yet have a place:) My sister's old room, in which I am currently staying, is now a guest room (see pic). It's really nice. But, staying in it, I can't help but feel like a guest in my "home"!

Perhaps the most striking change is in the basement, where in my youth, I did a lot of movie- and TV-watching, making out with boyfriends, etc... ;). Now there is no more wood paneling, no more sink on the side (always a bit weird, I thought), more modern furniture, and a HUGE plasma screen TV which overwhelms the room (I'm not sure I approve of this seemingly-frivolous and ostentatious purchase, although my Dad really gets enjoyment out of it :)).

I'm slowly getting used to it. I do feel like I am home, though, more than I have at any other point along this interview and travel stretch. I went to church on Sunday and saw a bunch of people I hadn't seen in years (I think it has been 4-5 years since I was there!). Although the people were older, it was still so, so familiar to me. Which is the weirdest thing! It's like time passes quickly (no one, including myself, can believe that I am soon going to graduate from medical school!), but, at the same time, everything seems to stay the same.... The house is different, yet the same...

It's been fun meeting up with friends of mine who still live in the area. Today, I had lunch with Jordan and got updates on Anna, Ayumi, Susan, Lauren, Erin, Beth, and more friends from high school. It's kind of sad because I do feel "out of the loop" by not living here and not returning "home" like many of them did after college. So many people are back here in the VA area. But is Virginia really my "home"??

And for another blast from the past... one of my things I was "to do" while at home was to go through boxes of my old "stuff" that, at the end of HS or amidst college, I warranted saving, but which I was told was still "too much" to save. It was actually really fun for me. I found all sorts of old pictures, toys, letters (I used to be a huge letter-writer in my day), trophies, and scrapbooks I made. I laughed, I got teary-eyed. It really was a stroll down memory lane. Even though I sometimes feel like I don't have a "home," I have a lot of memories. Of people with whom I thought I'd be "best friends forever." Of letters I wrote to Santa, my parents, and one I saved from Vanessa to the tooth fairy.

This one reads,

"Dear tooth fairy, How are you? I'm fine. My tooth just fell out, and I think it is worth 45 rupees. from Vanessa.

P.S. Please write to me.""

And then there is this picture of a mouth with two words: "need braces."

This cracked me up!!!!

Here is another one I think I will share. I was about 8 or 9 at the time, living in Bangkok, and really wanting a dog.

Tara: Please can I have a dog? Please please please? I 'll take it for walks when I get home from school. Please can I have a dog?

Dad: WE'LL WAIT AND SEE. IF WE BUY A HOUSE WITH A BACK YARD WHEN WE GO BACK TO AMERICA, THEN WE CAN GET A DOG.

Tara: Do you know for sure if we are going to live in a house with a back yard in America?

Dad: PRETTY SURE. WE'D LIKE TO HAVE A TOWNHOUSE WITH A BACKYARD, WOULDN'T WE?

Tara: But I want one here in Bangkok. Or at least in Thailand.

(end).

Needless to say, my insistence was not without gain. We got Toccata, our first dog (miniature schnauzer), in 1990 and have been dog lovers ever since. When she died in 2000, she was immediately replaced with Duncan, a Cairn terrier. And then came Freya, his little sister.

Here are some pics from 'vegging' at home. This is Freya, the younger, more rambunctious dog that my parents got from a breeder in Denmark, eyeing the 'I-Dog' (he dances to and changes personalities with music!) that I got for Mom for Christmas. She immediately noticed this change in her "home" when she got back from the kennel!

Here' s Mom giving the pups some treats.

And here's me with Duncan, the "snuggler" of the two dogs. This is only the second time I've seen Freya since my parents got her, while Duncan has been around since 2000, so I feel more connected to him :) And Freya is a little nut! She terrorizes Duncan, is actually quite "yappy," and won't sit still long enough to join you on the couch (she's like a toy Jake, for those of you who know Molly's dog) :)

As for homes.... tomorrow, I again become a nomad. I do feel that "Home is where the heart is." Right now, dealing with all this residency stuff, I don't quite know where that is. I hope to figure it out soon. Will where I end up for residency become my "home"? I need a reason-- someone or something-- to call somewhere home and to settle down. I can't be homeless forever! I can't wait to, someday, get married and have a house to share with a family. And stay in it for longer than a few years. I dream of having a fireplace in a library where I can sit and read whenever I feel like it. And maybe a sun porch. And a dog or two... Kids if it's in "the plan." I wonder when that will all be or even if it's meant to be..