The Asian Way

My Dad forwarded me this funny list. It is most amusing if you are married to an Asian or are one yourself :)

TOP TEN REASONS WHY THERE WON'T BE AN ASIAN PRESIDENT ANYTIME SOON
10.White House not big enough for in-laws.
9. Engineering, medicine, and law always preferred over politics.
8. Oval Office has bad feng shui.
7. Can't find decent roast duck or sashimi inside the beltway.
6. Secret Service can't handle nagging from mother.
5. Dignitaries generally intimidated by chopsticks at state dinners.
4. No chance for promotion.
3. Lactose intolerance not considered politically correct.
2. Senior aides won't take off shoes before coming in.
1. Air Force One: No frequent flyer miles.

50 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU'RE AN "ASIAN" (I'll star the ones that seem to apply to either K, me, or us both)
1. You were/are a good student with very high GPAs.* (T/K)
2. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine, teaching or finance. *(T/K)
3. You have more than one college degrees, especially more than one Master's.
4. If you play a musical instrument, it must be piano.* (T)
5. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
6. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil. (or, my substitution, you use foil to cover pans for broiling *[K])
7. Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.*(T)
8. You beat eggs with chopsticks * (K-- or you eat cereal out of a pho bowl with an Asian spoon)
9. You always leave outdoor shoes at the door.*(T/K)
10. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack or extended cabinet.****(K all the way! I am pro-dishwasher)
11. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times. (I don't do this, but I do drink a lot of hot water)
12. You boil water before drinking.
13. You eat all meals in the kitchen to keep your dining room clean. (I would add that you don't tend to refrigerate food if it will be eaten the same day, so it stays "fresh")*(K)
14. You don't use measuring cups when preparing foods.* (K)
15. You save grocery bags and use them to hold garbage.* (K/T)
16. You have a rice cooker.* (K --> T)
17. You're a wok user.* (T)
18. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
19. You wash rice 2-3 times before cooking it (My alternative-- you cannot eat a meal without rice and some type of meat* [K])
20. You make sounds when you have a bowl of soup.* (K)
21. You don't dry-clean clothes, even if they need to be dry-cleaned.* (K)
22. You iron your own shirts* (T); or you only trust Orange County Tailors * (:) K)
23. You like congee (Chinese porridge) with thousand year old eggs.* (K)
24. You always cook yourself, even if you hate it. * (mostly- T)
25. You use credit cards, and pay monthly bills IN FULL. (I will note that Asians actually trust and prefer cash more than cards/checks but always pay their balance)* (T/K)
26. You keep most of your money in a savings/checking account.* (or under the mattress)
27. You buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off. *(T/K)
28. When you hand wash dishes, you only use cold water.
29. You hate to waste food -* (T. K is now more interested in eating leftovers now than he used to be. In general, Asians think it's a sin to waste meat especially, since it is the most costly part of the meal)
a) Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away
the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them. * (T)
b) You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one
leftover chicken wing. * (T)
30. You don't own any real Tupperware, only a cupboard full of used but
carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
32. When toilet paper is on sale, you buy 100 rolls and store them.*(T/K; we love Costco)
33. You have a collection of miniature shampoo/conditioner bottles and
little soap bars that you take every time you stay in a hotel.* (K- SO TRUE)
34. The condiments in your fridge are either Costco sized or come in plastic
packets, which you save every time you get take out or go to McDonald's.* (K LOVES packets, of hot sauce especially!)
35. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes). *(T; more Asian than K on this one)
36. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table.
37. Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
38. You wipe your dog's paws and bottom before she is allowed in the house (okay, I substituted this one) * (K)
39. Your house/apartment is always cold in winter, and hot in summer. *(K; I want the house HOT in winter)
40. Your mom drives her Mercedes to Costco, or Super Store regardless how far it is, even if Safeway or Co-op is next door
41. You never pay full price for anything (there is always a coupon, sale, or internet deal to be had)-- okay, I added this one, too *(K/T)
42. You only make long distance calls after midnight or during weekends.
43. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and tails still attached. *(K)
44. You put away money to support your parents *(K); this is a responsibility most Asian children assume without question.
45. You think ONLY Japanese can make good cars!
46. You use a colored face cloth every morning.
47. You starve yourself before going to all-you-can-eat places.
48. You've joined a CD club at least once.
49. You never discuss your love life with your parents.
50. You take this message and forward it to all your Asian friends!

Additional "write-in" items are welcome!