Old & Tired

Niall (7): What are those lumps under your eyes, Mama?

Me: What do you mean? Are there bumps there?

Niall: Just the baggy part.

Me: Oh, you mean the bags under my eyes?   

Niall: Yeah. Why are they there?

Me: Sometimes people develop bags under their eyes when they get older.  Sometimes they are there if the person has allergies (which I do). And they can also be there if the person is really tired.

Niall: Are you tired?

Me: What do you think?

Niall: Hmmm... I think... yes. 

Me: You're right. I am also getting old but I'm unbelievably tired. I don't sleep that well. And I'm even more tired when a random iPad alarm clock goes off at midnight and again at 6 a.m. because a certain kid set them on Friday night "for funsies."

Niall: 

Hood Ornaments

 

Niall is a climber-- he loves trees and cars (!), often clambering up onto my (parked) car roof. Iver was an incredible infant climber, escaping from his crib around 13 months. 

The kids both climbed onto the hood and wanted to be photographed yesterday after school pick up.

Cute hood ornaments, I must say! 

"Concerning Behavior"

 

I was prepping the kids last week to take them for their first "well child" visit in a couple of years, as we wanted to check Niall's growth percentiles and to see if their doctor was concerned (he is <1% weight, 3% height and 6% BMI, and there are no major red flags but something we'll keep watching). Iver wondered why he had to go to the doctor if he wasn't due for shots and anything. I told him sometimes we talk about medical and behavioral concerns at well child visits, and that I might mention some behavior concerns (mainly defiant attitudes and intense outbursts of anger, although this is improving) to his doctor. He was very embarrassed and didn't want that to happen! 

"I'm concerned about YOUR behavior," he said.

Me: What do you mean? What behavior, specifically?

Iver: Your reading. You're always reading!  It's concerning!  Extremely concerning!  YOU should go to the doctor!

Jag-uire & more

If you haven't read my previous blog post "Shaag," I recommend it. It will provide some context for this edition (and some more laughs). 

(Jaguar Warrior) 

Kelvin, prior to bedtime a couple of nights ago:  Iver, when I was a child, I had a really hard time with some words. I had to say them over and over. Like "WORL WAR TWO."

Me: You mean, "WORLD War Two"?

Kelvin: Yes, WORL.

Me: What happened to the D? Worl-D! 

Kelvin: It's hard to pronounce! Remember that English is not my first language. 

Me: I thought it was the W- part that was hard to pronounce. Like "Worm."

Kelvin: Warm.

Me: The slimy invertebrate. Worm.

Kelvin: Warm.

Me: The vowel is like "earth." Think "Earth. Worm." The early bird does not get the WARM! It gets the WORM!

Kelvin. Earth. Warm. (Now Iver is also listening, cracking up) 

Me: "Warm" is like "War + m."  WORM is different! ERM! ERM! 

Iver (who knows how I get about accurate pronunciation): What about “JAGUIRE” (jaguar)? 

ME: It's not "Jag-wire," like a Jerry MagUIRE contraction. It's "Jaguar." Just like it's spelled. Its ending rhymes with "car." Jaguar.

Kelvin: Jaguire.

Iver; No, Papa! JagUAR! (kind of like Jag-warm). Or, “Wine. bar. Jaguar.”

Kelvin: Jag-wooooor.

Me; No: NOT like Jag-wooooor. Not Jag-wire. Not Jag-roar. Not Jag-more. Not Jag-War. Not like WORL WAR either!!  AAAAH! Just say panther then!  Good night! 

Christmas Cheer!

 

For the medical crowd:

And these are funny because they're true: 

A Very Merry Christmas! 

"But God Made Mosquitoes"

Niall was quite the naughty mischief-maker when I brought the kids to church with me this past weekend. He also is into ninjas and play-fighting.  However, he seems genuinely interested in God, Heaven, etc. A conversation we had while reading at bedtime the other night was as follows:

Niall: Can I kill bees?

Me: No, you should not kill bees. They do so much for us and the world because they're great pollinators. You can kill mosquitoes, though. They only bite people and spread disease. 

Niall: But then why did God make mosquitoes? 

Little Laughs

Iver: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
Iver: Why did the gopher bring two pairs of pants to the mini-golf place?
Me: Huh. I don't know. One for him and one for his shadow?
Iver: Mom! The shadow is for the groundhog!
Me: Oops. You're right. I don't know then.
Niall: To hold his balls? You know, because he has two? 😬
Iver: NO! In case he gets a hole in one!

I could see Iver doing this...

Liquid Terrorist

7:30 p.m.  

Niall: I want to drink a juice box like Klian.

Me:  I don’t think so. It’s so close to bedtime (8:00 pm), and we don’t want you to have a nighttime accident.  Remember what happened with the post-dinner watermelon last week?  I also think you've had plenty of sugar for today.  We need to brush teeth soon and get ready for bed.

Niall: What about milk?

Me: I don't think so. Same reasoning applies. 

Niall: if you don’t let me have those things, I’m going to just chug a ton of water instead! Watch me!

(this kid is why we also had to purchase a "fridge lock")...

"Your worst nightmare!"

We all have our *things*, as people and parents, that make us a little nuts.  They are our triggers, our hang-ups, our stressors.  Vomit in a carseat is a common one for most people (including me), as are creepy-crawly things in the house like snakes and spiders. However, these things are often not even the same as our spouses'.

Being a solo parent with rambunctious kids in the 5-7 p.m. dinner (food-complaining)/"witching hour" is one of mine.

(When I was bathing Niall after dinner one night and Iver requested to join in, which usually leads to a lot of fighting and water splashing when I feel it's supposed to be nice sibling bonding time, Niall said, "She's gonna say no. Isn't this like your worst nightmare, mama?!"

Eating jello or "things that jiggle" is another one of mine (I cannot stand things with jello-like texture). The kids like to play with me games like, "Would you rather eat... [poop, dirt, worms, etc.] than jello?"

Kelvin can't stand art-y mess like messy craft projects (especially glitter) or "dirty" things.  A week or so ago, Niall was trying to get out some art supplies including a tiny cork-sealed jar of glitter.  
"Papa, can you please help me open your worst nightmare?!"

Last weekend, we were hanging out playing in the garage and Iver found an unlabeled box which he then opened.

"Mama, guess what's in here?! It's like your worst nightmare!"  (it was a box of plastic boba straws, the waste of which I'm always ranting about. Which is why Kelvin probably hid it in the garage).

I know it seems like I have a lot of "worst nightmares," but I'm interested in knowing--what is your worst nightmare as a parent or human?! 

Captain Poopy Pants!

 

There is a cartoon-y kids' book series called Captain Underpants. We've read one or two of the books and they weren't my favorite (but I can also be accused of being a very serious person. Truthfully, Niall asked me the other day when something was actually funny, "Why are you laughing? You don't usually laugh!"

However, the other evening, after showering, he showed up in the bedroom wearing all his fresh/clean clothes upside down-- a blank tank top as a strapless leotard, undies as a tube top/bra, and shorts as a hat. When asked who he was, he replied, "Captain Poopy Pants!" He also added, "and I even have a built-in pee hole (the shirt's neck)!" We all cracked up.  Sometimes we all need to lighten up!  

Painful to the ears

Kelvin is far more outgoing, less inhibited, and more extroverted than I am. He also enjoys a good karaoke when it happens and his go-to song is Oasis' "Wonderwall," a song which I absolutely detest but which I have heard (him sing) many, many times over the years. 

A 90's nostalgia meme popped up for him and it totally cracked me up!  If you know this song and the lyrics, you'll know...

Superbowl Smiles

 

I missed most of this year's Superbowl due to managing two laboring patients, who delivered within thirty minutes of one another, although I watched a few minutes of the second half and part of the halftime show from the doctors' lounge in the hospital.  I didn't have anything hugely invested in the outcome, but I did prefer KC to win since the Eagles took our our 49ers in an abysmal quarterback-less game a couple of weeks ago (and, as the above graphic shows, I am just glad Tom Brady was nowhere to be found).  It seems like I missed a pretty exciting second half but even Kelvin didn't catch it all (he took the kids and some air-fried shrimp and wings to a party but reported that he "didn't get to watch very much of the game because people kept talking to me!"). Maybe there's something to (for avid football-lovers) to watching the game uninterrupted at home, or from a hospital call room :)  

"Shaag"

For some reason, during dinner this weekend, Kelvin brought up the topic of an "outside house.” I honestly cannot recall the context but the conversation got completely derailed by this exchange:

Kelvin: You know. I'm talking about a Shag.

Me: What?! Did you just say a "Shag"?!

Kelvin: You know, that small wooden outdoor house thing. 

Me: You mean a shed?   

Kelvin:  Um. No, not a shed.

Me: A hut?

Kelvin:  No, not a hut. 

Niall: A CASITA?!

Me: OHHH, you mean a Shack?!  But did you just pronounce it "Shag"?

Kelvin: Yeah, a Shag! 

Me: "Shack!" As in, rhymes with "hack" or like the basketball player Shaq! 

Kelvin: Shaag. 

Me: (the language policeperson)!! The word ends with C-K, not G. A "Kuh" sound, not "Guh."

Kelvin: It's a difficult sound in English. Remember that English is not my first language!

Iver: Papa! Say "Shack!," not "Shaag." It's a C-K!  Like the F-word. It's not pronounced "FUUG!" 

Winter (Non) Performance

Iver had a winter performance for his school which was scheduled in December, but which got postponed for reasons I cannot recall. We were able to attend on Wednesday at his school's auditorium. Each of the grades (K-5) had their own musical number (there was percussion, singing, story-telling, ribbon-waving, ukeleles, some violin-playing and more ["HOW MANY MORE ARE THERE?! I'M HUNGRY!" shouted our soon-to-be-kindergartener, Niall]). Iver looked out at the audience and was happy to spot us when he walked onstage for his second grade number.

However, by the end of the program (an all-school song), he was obviously over the participation! 

When I sent the above photo to my sister-in-law, Katherine, she sent me back this LL "Winter Performance" picture from 2017 (Iver would have been ~3). 

Some things never change! 

January Vibes

I seriously got the following e-mail on January 2nd. 

Apparently you can join even age under fifty with some conditions but I still was offended. I don't have that much gray hair (but sometimes consider retiring)...

Starting to plan summer vacations...

 (nothing against Open Door, just the slog of work in medicine in general).

And this New Year has already brought another earthquake on New Year's Day (around a 5.4) while we were driving home from Oregon and aftershocks the next morning, which I actually felt. I found out yesterday that our next-door neighbor's husband passed away on NYE. And we are currently in the middle of a huge winter storm with high wind gusts, trees and powerlines down all over the place and power outages again. Kelvin is stuck in Crescent City due to a road blockage  on his way back from Oregon and Pepper's eye surgery and many places are expecting flooding. Sigh.

Tree down on Redwood Community Pharmacy in our town

"Happy" January/New Year indeed!