Lasts

It is March 17th 2011. The last day of residency is June 30, 2011, which is fewer than four months away (106 days, to be exact) ...

While I am still trying to stay motivated to keep up with patient care, diligent reading, and some required (albeit painful) tasks of residency, excited to move on to the "real world" and seeming "real life," I am also starting to realize that the time of "lasts" has started, and those "lasts" aren't all good.

I am seeing some of my patients for the *last* time. It is the *last* time I will do a well woman"exam on some of my young, healthy, continuity patients that rarely come in for other reasons. Yesterday, I told one of my favorite patients whose baby I delivered last September that "There is no rush, but you are due for a pap some time in the next year." She warmed my heart when she said, "Well, is it okay if I do it this June, just so that I can see you one more time?" And then there was the added, "Is there any way you could come down from Arcata for my next delivery?"

I am seeing some of my continuity babies for the *last * time-- now that some of them are over 18 months, they may not need to "return for next well child in 3 months." In the field I chose where I so much value continuity and relationships, the fact that I am leaving is rather depressing.

Tonight, I am on my *last* FP phone triage call of residency (let's hope it stays quiet).
This Sunday, I have my *last* FP wards call (I am praying that the team discharges some of their 20 patients before then ;)).
I have my *last* block of OB coming up in April, just after my *last* residency vacation.

This (well, once it stops pouring and we can actually get out there) is my *last* season of frisbee-playing at Curtis/McKinley park on Tuesday afternoons (although I hope the tradition will continue in our absence).

While I really like it here, I don't know where life will bring us-- this may be the *last* time I ever live in Sacramento. It will be the *last* time I have my own apartment.

It will be probably the *last* time I am surrounded by so many people of a similar walk and path, such good friends, and a built-in family in a place where, four years ago, I knew no one.

It is a season of lasts but I hope to make the memories last, too.