Not another pot (a.k.a the pain of moving)

Our move is going fairly smoothly, all things considered. The packing company packed both Kelvin and my apartments (8 hours total) on Monday, which was quite amazing. As I think I mentioned previously, I had never used professional "movers" for any of my adult moves in the past, and assembling, packing, and hauling boxes is all too familiar to me for all the moves in the last 10 years or so (once per year while at college, 3 times in Minnesota, but luckily just this once to and from residency). Having 2-3 people actually wrap, pack, and haul stuff (with a DOLLY!) to a large truck was such a blessing (and even more so because it was paid for). And having them also drive the stuff up [not easy on some of the curvy roads between Sacramento and Arcata], haul boxes, reassemble the furniture, and unpack box contents today (even if it was just into the living area) was just as sweet. It was quite lonely in our big house without stuff for 2 nights (the air mattress on the floor was not that comfortable and we neglected to think to bring a chair), but it is all okay now, and the company was fantastic. I don't think I will EVER move without a packing company again. In my opinion, the time, hassle, and exhaustion is just not worth it (and I would go quite a long way to save money).

So... not having the sole responsibility of packing like in previous years, the realization hit me more today (while unpacking) that I have soooo much stuff. Too much stuff. It is really unbelievable. It really actually makes me feel rather guilty (for having the movers have to move all of my junk), as well as sad because it makes me feel so materialistic. I mean, how many pots and dishes and how many clothes do we really need (one mover did note that he thought K might have more clothes than I do, though, which made my day :)). Currently moving from a 1-bedroom apartment (with K from a studio, although I had "stuff" for probably a 2+ BR!), I can't even imagine what it would be like to have to move a whole house full of "stuff," accumulated over many years. It really makes one seriously consider a) never moving again and b) never buying another thing (as well as getting rid of 80% of what one does have), as demonstrated by this photo:




When the movers unloaded today, I basically spent the day in the kitchen, being the inventory- checker of the numbered boxes to make sure all the items arrived, and then trying to find space for the gazillions of kitchen items and appliances that I somehow have (which are far out of proportion to both the extent and quality of my cooking). Just when I thought I had "got it all," ANOTHER kitchen box would arrive. We registered for some nice china and a few pan-replacements, but a lot of this stuff isn't even new (and you know that Kelvin, who is a great dishwasher but noncooker, hardly contributed any kitchen stuff... so it is actually mine!!). Oof da.

Luckily, the house we are renting is very spacious, with lots of cabinet and drawer space in the kitchen, closet shelving in all 3 bedrooms, space under the staircase, and a garage to boot. We are very spoiled. Especially including our anticipated furniture purchases (progress... I ordered a desk today!), we really can't downsize in the next move (unless we get rid of lots of "stuff"). I just hope (but doubt) that the next move may be our last. I have always enjoyed living in different locations and the richness of experience that comes with moving around the country (or world); however, I now feel much more like "settling down." How glorious it would be to just own a house, stay in it, and never move again...

Someday, I guess.
But until then, I am vowing to be better about jettisoning "stuff" and refraining from any more shopping (especially pots).

Furniture and Tears

The summer is just flying by; I cannot believe that it is already mid-August and September (i.e. the start of work for us!) is near...

This week has been BUSY!!! Since being back from Asia, we have felt like we've had many tasks at hand....

First, furniture shopping. I would just like to say that I am immensely blessed to have a husband that tolerates shopping... of all kinds; in fact, he seems to enjoy shopping more than I do. I tend to lose patience and steam, as well as get frustrated by prices. We have been busy browsing furniture for our house in Arcata, which (at a three-bedroom) is much larger than either of our former living spaces (or anywhere we have lived in recent years). We definitely don't have the furniture currently to fill a house, and, in the throes of a recent wedding and honeymoon and two months without income, we now have the added future dread of dropping thousands of dollars on furniture. Both of us are very frugal people (Kelvin likes a deal almost more than I do, believe it or not!), and so the thought of spending a few thousand dollars on a "great" sofa sectional, when we could maybe get a "decent" one for half the price, is rather shocking; however we do know that we should get "quality" stuff that lasts and look at this as an "investment." But it is still so difficult. Our order of business is something like this: 1. sofa/sectional, 2. office desk (my Ikea desk which I've had since HS is now headed to its grave), 3. coffee table, 4. TV (time for larger than a 21-inch!), 5. dining table + chairs (for all the guests we hope we'll have! '). We're going to need miscellaneous shelves, bedside tables, and lamps, but those definitely are lower-priority.

Shopping is more work than buying, for sure. In the past 4 days or so, we have spent many, many hours browsing in stores including Ikea, Costco, Office Max, Target, Crate and Barrel, and Pottery Barn, as well as the local Antique Faire today (my first time!) [other suggestions/options are welcome!)]; however, the only thing we have bought is a bookshelf on super sale from Office Max. We would theoretically like to buy furniture now, as the movers are coming (finally! They had a hard time committing to a move date!) tomorrow, and it would be great for them to haul the big stuff now (rather than us trying to figure if we could squeeze furniture, disassembled, into either of our Toyotas). However, we don't really have anywhere currently to store furniture. Secondly, when we were in Arcata in July, we had to sign on the rental house so quickly that we didn't have time to go back and measure the rooms' dimensions and our memory is, at this point, a little fuzzy about some intricacies of the layout, so we are hesitant to make any major furniture purchases until we return there.

While there is a Costco in Eureka, there are not any chain furniture stores for at least 100 miles from where we are living. There seem to be some small local furniture places, but we haven't had any time in Humboldt County yet to check them out yet; therefore, while we felt the need to "shop down here now," we have held out on buying anything. While we are thrilled to have (through Kelvin's scholarship) a company packing and moving for us (a luxury that I have not had as an adult!), their coming so late is really cutting down our time for unpacking, settling in, and making purchase decisions. Despite how much I hate actually boxing up stuff and the whole "moving" process (I wonder if I will ever be in one place longer than four years!), there is still some part of me that doesn't actually believe that people are going to pack up my stuff for me, so I spent the better part of today organizing and boxing up the majority of things in my place.

Moving does not get easier. But it feels the same every time. As the pictures came off the walls and my belongings went into cardboard, with sappy country music on Pandora in the background, I started feeling nostalgic and missing Sacramento already. While we are sort of "moving" tomorrow/Tuesday, we are bouncing back to central Cal (Sac is not northern Cal compared to Arcata!) next weekend (with a short Vegas jaunt) and won't be up in Arcata "for good" until the last week in August, so I don't have to say goodbyes just yet. But it is still sad.

And, speaking of sad (while really unrelated to any topic above), I shed my share of quite a few tears this week at a couple of very powerful films which you definitely should see (I am a sucker for civil-rights-type stories):

1. The Help, based on the Kathryn Stockett novel of the same name, about the relationships between black maids and their Southern employers in 1960s Jackson, Mississippi
2. The Great Debaters, a drama based on the true story of a 1935 black college's debate team and their challenges and triumphs against schools across the country

With that, it is back to packing... and eating /(rescuing) freezer leftovers...

Housing- check!

The major tasks in the past month have been:

1. Graduate from residency
2. Get married
3. Study for and take family medicine boards
4. Find a place to live in Humboldt County
5. Go on the honeymoon
6. Move
7. Start our new jobs

(Sound stressful?? Thankfully, we are now more than halfway done with the above!)

We took family medicine boards on Tuesday and it actually wasn't too painful. Despite the militant sign-in-/sign-out process, the rigid prohibition of taking off a sweater off during the test, and being frisked every time we had to take a break (bathroom, snack, etc.), the test part went fairly smoothly. While I used to be a "ruminator" and go over and over questions I was unsure of, I've gotten a lot more decisive and Kelvin and I both got out of the test several hours earlier than allotted. We hope the results (which take about 6 weeks, I hear) are good!

Despite having been seated for many hours already, we were able, given our early finish, to immediately drive up to Humboldt county (another 6 hours' drive) to look for a place to live for the next few years. Since being here, we have been generously hosted by Marguerite, the girlfriend of my clinic director, at her lovely house in Fieldbrook, and have been very productive with house-hunting.

Moving is STRESSFUL. I am lucky to have been able to have stayed at the same apartment in Sacramento for the past four years; however, I am now reminded of how painful it is to find a new residence and to physically move. After doing (well, Kelvin doing) a lot of preliminary research from Craigslist and other Humboldt listings, we allotted about 3 days up here to find a place to live in the Arcata area. While we would like to have a house someday, we don't think we're quite ready yet to buy given that the area is so new to us, and there's no way that buying a home could have been realistic in our small window of searching time, so rental shopping it was. We are considering (well, I am; K is less thrilled about the idea) getting a dog in the future... which actually somewhat limited us in options (with reason, landlords are very leery of tenants with pets)... but, even so, we had a rather packed couple of days.

I think we saw about TWELVE rental properties during business hours on Wednesday, in the tri-city area including McKinleyville, Arcata (more central) and Eureka (farthest south). Today, we saw another about five places. We have certainly had the driving tour of the region, and seen some nice real estate. After deliberating at length about the relative values, locations, "feels" of the areas (McKinleyville is supposed to be kind of "redneck," Arcata more liberal), commutes (gas here is more than $4/gallon, which is among the priciest in the nation), and microclimates (there are sunnier/warmer areas, and cooler, more dreary ones), we thought we had decided on a place in McKinleyville (the town of my clinic) -- a cute three-bedroom, 1.5-bath, townhome with a small fenced yard. We also really liked a three-bedroom, 1 + 3/4 bath nice Arcata home with two levels (a huge spacious downstairs), hardwood floors, and located in a great neighborhood only a few minutes from the hospital (where I'd be doing OB) and Kelvin's clinic; however, when it came down to costs (yes, even as two MDs we still are thrifty and Asian, want value, and also just threw a wedding), we weren't sure it made financial sense splurge for the extra money it would take to secure that place ($400/month more-- a sum that we could more easily rationalize using towards saving for property, furniture, or travel).

However, luck had it that the landlord, when we expressed our disappointment and declination, actually voluntarily dropped the rent to where it was within our budget.... and thus we ended up with an awesome place and our first choice! We signed the lease and we can't wait to move in when we return from our honeymoon.

Here are some pictures of our new place, our first real residence (albeit a rental) as a married couple. Sorry I don't have a comprehensive set of snapshots, as I wasn't that thorough with the camera when we looked at it early yesterday. We love it (but want you to see for yourself, too!). Please come visit us (Serena, we have lots of room, and bring Shabu! Kimie- you can stay for a month for a rotation and have your own bedroom, but you might have to fight Kelvin because he wants a "man cave.")

Front view (doesn't it look big?! -- we are not sure if the "porch couch" will be a keeper...)



Entryway mudroom


One of the upstairs bedrooms (furniture to be replaced by our own)



We have had some time while up here to explore a bit as well as take care of some clinic business. We visited Old Town Eureka and the many thrift, used book, and furniture stores (I am very excited about interior decorating now!). We tried some pho in Eureka (not bad!), met with our respective clinic staff, administrators, and directors, and had a wonderful potluck dinner tonight courtesy of Marguerite and my clinic docs with great tips on Humboldt living. Good times!



So onto 5., 6., and 7. on the list...
Next: honeymoon!! Then: MOVE!

Lasts

It is March 17th 2011. The last day of residency is June 30, 2011, which is fewer than four months away (106 days, to be exact) ...

While I am still trying to stay motivated to keep up with patient care, diligent reading, and some required (albeit painful) tasks of residency, excited to move on to the "real world" and seeming "real life," I am also starting to realize that the time of "lasts" has started, and those "lasts" aren't all good.

I am seeing some of my patients for the *last* time. It is the *last* time I will do a well woman"exam on some of my young, healthy, continuity patients that rarely come in for other reasons. Yesterday, I told one of my favorite patients whose baby I delivered last September that "There is no rush, but you are due for a pap some time in the next year." She warmed my heart when she said, "Well, is it okay if I do it this June, just so that I can see you one more time?" And then there was the added, "Is there any way you could come down from Arcata for my next delivery?"

I am seeing some of my continuity babies for the *last * time-- now that some of them are over 18 months, they may not need to "return for next well child in 3 months." In the field I chose where I so much value continuity and relationships, the fact that I am leaving is rather depressing.

Tonight, I am on my *last* FP phone triage call of residency (let's hope it stays quiet).
This Sunday, I have my *last* FP wards call (I am praying that the team discharges some of their 20 patients before then ;)).
I have my *last* block of OB coming up in April, just after my *last* residency vacation.

This (well, once it stops pouring and we can actually get out there) is my *last* season of frisbee-playing at Curtis/McKinley park on Tuesday afternoons (although I hope the tradition will continue in our absence).

While I really like it here, I don't know where life will bring us-- this may be the *last* time I ever live in Sacramento. It will be the *last* time I have my own apartment.

It will be probably the *last* time I am surrounded by so many people of a similar walk and path, such good friends, and a built-in family in a place where, four years ago, I knew no one.

It is a season of lasts but I hope to make the memories last, too.

On friendship and keeping in touch

I really love people. Lots of people. Relationships definitely are what keep me going.

Having moved to a new city where I knew virtually no one (except the people I met while interviewing [people keep asking me, "So do you know anyone here? Friends? Family?" to which I reply "Basically, just the people in this room"]), it is weird to not have good friends around. I've given a lot of thought to this lately..... what is the point of friendship or making friends? What is the point of moving somewhere, meeting lots of wonderful people, moving again and losing touch with some, meeting more, only to lose some more the next time? Does it end? Does it ever get any easier?

I often lament that the friends I have moved away from are all meeting new people who they'll like more and who will "replace" the role I once had in their lives. It's kind of silly, I know. But I still think it. I guess it's kind of my own problem for I am the one who is generally moving voluntarily. However, I wonder whether I will ever be somewhere (other than heaven, if I somehow make it there... :)) where all (or a lot) of the people I love are in the same location. Probably not. It's really sad that most will become long-distance relationships.

So far, I have always felt closest to the people who are living in the same place I am. I think part of it is that my personality has changed and I have "grown" more comfortable with who I am and who I am around. I do still get together with friends from high school, and I'm still close to college friends. But, now that I'm in California, will my best friends be here? Will I even have any close friends?! (I have to really force myself to go out and try to start up conversations with new people-- I'm already noticing that, at these orientation things, I'm huddling in my "comfort zone" with the FP interns rather than meeting as many people as I can). I really wonder! What happens to my Mayo people who I was pretty sure would be friends for life? Will they still be wonderful friends if we are never in the same location again?

What is the purpose of keeping in touch? How many people is it reasonable to keep in touch with? Where is the line? Most of you know that I love talking to and meeting up with anyone and always (perhaps too compusively) write back. If it were up to me, I would probably never lose contact with anyone. The more friends, the merrier, I think-- it is great to know people all over the country (and world!). But people do grow apart and relationships can become superficial... when one person starts to let it slip or backs off, should you let it die? Or, if it's important to you, do you try to maintain it? I hate feeling like a friendship is more important to me than it is to the other person, but I feel bad about myself and feel like a failure when relationships fail or disappear. However, I don't want to be a stalker (any more so than I am now, anyway) :).

I think this post is getting a big depressing so I should turn it around. I'd like to say that I am LOVING keeping in touch with others via blogs. I'm so happy that Lesley saw the light and switched to blogger, Rachel talked Hans into "letting her" get a blog, and Mindy also started one (new links also to the right for anytime access!). If you're reading this, I would really appreciate it if, right now, you would go set one up (https://www.blogger.com/start) so that I could read up on your life too. It's not difficult, as even I, who is quite technologically-challenged, have (even though it's not as fancy as Kristen's stuff!) figured out how to link things, post pictures, etc. And I'd be willing to bet you could keep up with Lesley as far as postings go :) (starting strong, though, Les!). Think about it.

In a bit, I head to a dinner with the OB interns and chiefs (potential new friends... :) )

Oh-- I got my new UC Davis e-mail today, although the domain is a bit cumbersome. I also have a landline, should anyone want the number. Gmail and cell (and blog, of course) should still be good ways to keep in touch!

Lasts

Today was my last full day in Rochester. In the words of Wendi, tonight will my last "sleep" in my apartment here. I leave tomorrow for Chicago for Erin's wedding and then return Monday morning, with plans to pack up the moving truck as quickly as possible and then, with my Dad, get on the road towards California. It has been a good day. Rochester gave me some of the most beautiful weather one could imagine-- sunny (cloudless) and in the 70s. I spent this evening hanging out with Brandon, Kristen, David, Lesley, and Wendi (and, for a bit, Erica and Chris [a first-year student])-- we went to Chipotle and then played some Wii (which Kristen gave Brandon for a boards-completion [he took them yesterday!] present). It was a wonderful, fun- and laughter-filled last night.

This day concludes my last week here. I have been thankful to have this time to just get things organized little by little without having to really rush around like a crazy person, which would have been the case if I had decided to move sooner after graduation. I have been able to: get addresses changed, schedule utilities to be stopped and started, help friends move, get rid of some furniture and clothes, get my revised research paper submitted (it was weird to have to change my "author" information to include an M.D.!), clean out my foodstocks, and get a head start on (pre-move) cleaning parts of the apartment. I have to say that my boxing up of stuff this time around, complete with labeling each box with its contents, has been my best effort so far--usually packing is done in such a rush that nothing is very organized or compact. We've had some very interesting meals the past couple of days combining the last of the leftovers from our fridges (with the Kits and Joneses yesterday-- I was nearly horrified at all the goods in John and Wendi's fridge! I am so glad to have someone [Lesley] who totally understands my pathologic tendencies to rescue food). I took my last trip to the library today to return some books. I think that was my last walk down second street.

I have wondered why this move, and these lasts, feel so weird. I mean, it isn't as though I haven't had to go through this every 3-4 years of my life. I've done this about 8 times before. And I will likely do it many more times in the future (honestly, I wonder sometimes if I will ever have reason to stay somewhere for good :)). But I think it has been because these last four years, and my time in Rochester, have really shaped me. I am a much different person than I was in college or high school. I worry less and have fun more. I have more confidence and am much, much, MUCH more outgoing. I really do feel like an "adult" now, despite how old (young) I appear (particularly with the headbands holding up the new haircut). I am stronger and more independent. I have formed more close friendships and made more meaningful memories in the past few years than I had ever had before. I have cried more and laughed more than I ever thought was possible. And as much as sometimes I feel like I can't wait to get out of Rochester, I will miss it. I wonder when (after Monday) will be the next time I set foot here. Will there be a next time? Will this be my last?

This will likely be my last post for a while. I thought I was due for posting some more pictures since all I've done recently is ramble, so here are some more from graduation weekend (already feels so long ago!) that I have gotten this week from my godfather, Tia, and Kristen.

Picture I stole from Kristen of the girls (Les, Kristen, Wendi, and me) at the Christian Oath swearing on Thursday night-- the last Beyond Eden event we attended.

Van and me at Michael's for dinner on Friday

A proud grandma... the last graduation of a granddaughter she'll likely have to attend....that is, until my sister's from grad school next summer! (This is her second in a row, as Vanessa graduated from Washington and Lee University last May!). Oof-da.

One of the last shots of us as non-M.D.s (with Lesley, Tia, Nicole, and Erin), and, I hope, the last time I'll have to wear a stupid cap and gown

It's official-- I can now put an M.D. after my last name!

Last time I'll be getting flowers for a while.... :) by the three shields ice scupture in Gonda

I was so blessed that so many family members were able to make it to graduation. It turned out to be a mini-family reunion of sorts, and this is likely the last time so many Arnesses will be in the same state to have such a representation!

Last shot, of EVB and Tia. Tonight is the last night we can call Erin EVB, because, as of this time tomorrow, she will be married to TJ and will become EA! Doesn't quite have the same ring. But she'll get to jump up from the end of the alphabet to the beginning!

And here are just some last glimpses of Rochester and the Mayo brothers, who have provided me so many lasting memories...

Bros.' statue outside Gonda

Mural in Gonda

Farewell, for now...