Old Stomping Grounds (with new progeny)

Sacramento is a special place to both K and me. We naturally have fond feelings for the town because we suffered (well, I did) in residency, met and got married just outside it, but it is also a beautiful, diverse, green, and comfortable-sized capital city which has a lot to offer young families, and where we still know a lot of people!

While we were obviously childless when we were living here before, this weekend, we got to explore some of the kiddie attractions to the city, amidst Kelvin's work recruiting (we hope) physicians for our rural area at the UC Davis Network Education conference.

On Friday, we visited the Sacramento Zoo, which was a hit with our little one.

(He wasn't all that thrilled about petting the snake, though!)

Owl friend

Right next to the Zoo in Land Park is Fairytale Town, a park of sorts where kids can climb in pumpkin stagecoaches, thrones, and other fairy tale-associated structures.

The shoe from "The Old Woman who Lived in a Shoe" was a fun slide.

We ended the day at the Sacramento Children's Museum in Rancho Cordova, which would be a great rainy-day play area (even though it was sunny when we visited).

  

The noodle forest was a hit!

 

Iver is a big fan of the "ski jump" exhibits...

... as well as the sandbox.

Foam blocks

  

 Dos Coyotes dinner

When Kelvin was busy working, Iver and I sauntered over to Old Sac.

We met with Kay, one of our professors and the current program director, and Suzanne, who led the FM/OB track when I was a resident. Later, we met up with residency friends at McKinley Park for some play time. Char's two kids, Amy's two, Iver, and Caesar's Sofia all had fun roaming (while we stayed busy keeping track of them all).

Parneet (hat covering her face) and Himith

Iver and Kiran

(Alex joins in)

We learned that Iver is a fan of squirrels, which we don't see often in Humboldt.

We hit up one of Kelvin's favorite Vietnamese restaurants for some eats (the kids did remarkably well in their seats).

 

Iver and Alex snuggled at James' house.

 

By some little miracle, I found out via Wendi that Dr. Chris Isichei, founder of Faith Alive Nigeria and with whom John, Wendi, Ajit, Kelsey, and I spent a month in Jos, Nigeria in 2007, was staying with a friend in Sacramento the same weekend we were there!  We traveled a short 20 minutes to Gold River to visit with this amazing man.  It was so great to catch up and to hear of the strides his organization has made in reducing HIV transmission and deaths in his country, and how much good he has done for the poor and marginalized in his corner of the world. The world needs more humans like Dr. Chris (and please, if you can, donate to this cause).

Iver is doing better in the car these days (there was only about 20 minutes of screaming each five-hour way), and with good food, a hotel pool, and lots of time for play, it was a very enjoyable weekend for him (and thus, with a happy toddler, also for us).  While there were friends we just didn't get a chance to connect with, we expect we'll be back to Sac-town soon.

EnLIGHTened (outsmarted and under-slept by a two-year-old)

Our two-year-and-one-month-old son has never been a good sleeper. Admittedly, we did not force the "sleep-training" at 6-12 months of life, which, in my opinion (in hindsight), seemed to be the optimal window of time. We kept thinking, hoping, and praying that his (and thus our) sleep would just naturally get better. It didn't. By 19 months after his birth, I had come to my wits' end and had had enough, and Kelvin agreed to work with me on some hard-core graduated extinction (à la Ferber). After about 3 weeks, it worked. While the early wake time of 4:30 or 5 a.m. was not ideal for us, we had a child who slept approximately 9 uninterrupted hours at night, which made life very manageable (and even pleasant, at times). This was short-lived (lasting maybe 3 months), and things have been rough again for several months. He's a very bright child, but can't seem to get the sleeping thing down.

While we do sit or lie with him and play music until he falls asleep (which I do recognize could be part of the problem), he doesn't get anything at night. It's dark, with soothing white noise. It's cool, but with plenty of blankets.  There's a water cup at his bedside. He does not get any milk, snacks, cuddles, or hugs (and, while he is day trained, we let him wear a nighttime diaper).  But his brain still wakes him up 1-2 times at night, for unknown reasons. We have a toddler stoplight alarm clock, and he completely understands the notion of "red- stay in bed, green- ok to get up," but he turns it off sometimes, and we have suspended YouTube and treat (the rare donut or fruit snack) privileges until he complies with this system (which he completely understands. In fact, he reminds us that he can't have either, as if we needed reminding). We are so done with fighting with him, that currently, we are closing our door, putting up the baby gate in his room, and putting on white noise in ours, and not entering his room until "green light" time of approximately 5 a.m. (or 9 hours after he falls asleep, whichever is earlier). The other day, about five nights into the privilege suspension, we said something at bedtime to the effect of, "If you wake up tonight, and the light is red, or you're bored, feel free to just turn on your light and play quietly. But do not wake up mommy and daddy by crying for us. We are NOT coming in until the morning."

That same night (despite our white noise), we heard him crying at midnight, and then at around 4:30 in the morning. After a few minutes of crying at the later wake-up time, it got quiet again. I checked the video monitor thinking that he, miraculously, put himself back to sleep and relishing that we may be able to sleep in a bit, too. However, on the contrary, I saw that, this tiny 25-month-old had brought a stool over to the light switch in his room, climbed up, turned the room light on, and was playing with his toys and books. At 5 a.m. when the light turned green, I went to him, and asked him "Why weren't you in bed?". "All done sleeping," he replied.
"Do you get YouTube today?" I questioned.
"No," he admitted, without any fuss.
"Let's try again tomorrow."

It's been two nights of him turning on his room light at strange hours, like 1 a.m., but actually going back to sleep.  This morning, the second time he awoke was after the green light was lit (which is good, as it means it's 5 a.m.!) ... and he asked tentatively,  "Donut? YouTube?"  "Did you stay in bed the whole time, while it was red?" I inquired. "I believe I heard you at your door at 2 a.m." "No," he admitted (at least he's honest).

I guess we could be making some progress, but I'm not sure. We'll try again today, and continue with this plan every night for now, with hope that we're getting somewhere.   While I would love a sleeping strategy that doesn't involve shutting doors on him and ignoring cries, I'm not sure that anything else is going to work with this kid.  He doesn't seem to miss YouTube, fruit snacks, or donuts (or at least is not very easily bribed by the idea of them).  I just think this two-year-old is smarter than we are and one (or more) steps ahead.  He definitely listens to our comments to plot his strategies.   We've been enlightened.  Now, if only we could all sleep.

Not over 'til it's over

I am not particularly a Falcons fan (however, in sports competitions, I tend to root for the less-favored team, or at least the team or person for whom the victory may mean more). I do enjoy watching close sporting events and, for much of this Super Bowl 51 game, it was pretty boring. As the game went on, though, I began to quietly get behind the Falcons, thinking that they could pull off the upset against (morally questionable) Tom Brady and his elite (who happen to support our current odious 45th president).  To many hopefuls, the outcome (triumph of the underdog) seemed to be "in the bag," so to speak, when the Patriots were scoreless for much of the first half, and when Atlanta led 28-3.

What have I learned in the past few months? Don't (ever) prognosticate (and don't ever underestimate the power of angry, white men).

I watched, numbly and quietly, as Brady connected on pass after pass and marched confidently up the field.  To his "patriotic" supporters, it seemed likely he'd come out on top because he's a great All-American quarterback (and because, well, he had the blessing and cheers of "45," who gets his way just about all the time with little resistance).  Statistically, even in the second half, it seemed that a comeback was unlikely with the way things they had been playing, and that, this time, there was a lot of hope that we were on the cusp of something big happening, that there would be a new, inspirational, deserving but marginalized champion crowned.

But we watched as the lead slipped away, with one small miracle after another. It was out of our control (as it always was). It wasn't meant to be, this year. Was I disappointed in the end result? Yes. Was I surprised at the outcome?  Not in the slightest.  I have learned that justice (as I interpret it) is rarely served (i.e. there's generally no such thing as "good guy" karma or divine intervention (in sports...unless, this year, it was all spent on Federer and the Australian Open final)...or in politics, for that matter.  While the similarities to this Super Bowl game and Election Night were quite eerie, for me (and I'm certainly not the only one who made the comparison), there was just a feeling of resignation and more cynicism in the aftermath (and no real shock or sadness).  My heart wasn't broken this time (or perhaps it's broken beyond repair) and the great news is that I've moved on quickly and easily, and Tom Brady is not in a position to sign any unconstitutional or civil liberties-destroying orders or laws (I think. But maybe there's a cabinet position still open for him).