Chief-time already??

Lucy, Priyal, Charmian, Julia, and me (minus Gaea and Alex)- 2010- 2011 chiefs!

It is almost June of my third year of residency... which means that, while many of my former med school classmates and all of my original FP classmates are graduating in a few short weeks, I get to look forward to another year of residency "jail"... [OB] "CHIEF YEAR."

I just got back from the CREOG (Council on Resident Education in OBGYN) Resident Workshop and Conference in Pasadena, CA where six out of seven of us soon-to-be-OB Chiefs (Alex was on fellowship interviews and couldn't be there) convened with residents of many other OB programs to learn effective management, leadership, and "conflict resolution" skills to prepare us for next year.

It was a great weekend! Not only was it great for our bonding (due to hectic schedules and required night/day coverage, it is pretty near impossible to ever get a majority of OB residents together, and I had not spent this much time with my OB classmates since starting residency!), but it was very practical.

We learned about different Leadership Styles (The Idealist [me], Activist, Analyst [me in a former life], or Harmonizer). We heard about "Resident as Coach," from Dr. DaRosa, a very motivating speaker from the Dept. of Surgery at Northwestern. We heard about how to create a good learning climate (trying not to let the chaos of L and D take over!). We learned about our individual tendencies in conflict situations ("accommodating," [which I'm high in] "compromising," "collaborating," "avoiding," and "competing."). We learned about effective teaching in the clinic, tips for successful teamwork, and how to give effective feedback to other students and residents (which I definitely know is not a strength of mine). Although residency has shortened my attention span to about 35 minutes and it was very difficult to sit for long periods of time watching powerpoint in the banquet hall, there were enough "active participation" components to the workshops so that we didn't get too comatose. Bottomless pots of coffee also helped.

Thanks to our OB program director, Dr. C, we got to fly Southwest (great airline, I must say!! This was, believe it or not, the first time I'd flown Southwest!), and stay at the hotel (The Langham Hotel in Pasadena) at which the conference was held, which was about as fancy a hotel in which I had ever been a guest! We got to hang out by (and, for smart ones who brought swimsuits [Gaea] in) the jacuzzi, and, in the hours after the didactic and workshop time, look wistfully at the very posh spa (I had a feeling that the department would not be covering what was probably about a $200 massage).

We had some free time to explore downtown Pasadena, and ate wonderful, wonderful food at the italian place Mi Piace and a hip wine bar on Saturday night. I also napped quite a bit in the luxurious hotel bed, which was much needed.

Luz, Charmian, and Julia flew back earlier in the afternoon today, but Gaea and I visited her grandparents in Claremont before flying back to Sac.

Here is Gaea driving our luxury rental convertible :)

I have mixed feelings about next year. It is just soooo hard to believe that we are no longer timid first years running around triage and overwhelmed with the vocera but will now be running L and D! In some ways, I still feel many of the insecurities of being an intern. I am just sometimes not that confident or decisive and worry a lot about how others perceive me. Despite being "eased in" as acting chief on L and D a couple of Sundays ago (and another 24h acting chief call I'll be doing at the end of June), I don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable in the top leadership role. I am downright scared. But somewhat comforting is that my co-chiefs seem to be as nervous as I am. I have worked with awesome chiefs, good chiefs, bad chiefs, and evil chiefs, and I really want to be at least a good one.

I really liked one quote displayed from the philosopher Lao-Tzu: "As for the best leaders, the people do not notice their existence. The next best, the people honor and praise. The next, the people fear, and the next, the people hate. When the best leader's work is done, the people say, 'We did it ourselves.'"

We all, I think, came away from this weekend motivated and enthusiastic about next year and being as good leaders as we can be. Wish us all luck!