Fin de la Fortnight

Two weeks of nights is over. OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Until October, that is, when I do another month of OB (four total this year). But I don't even care. I didn't even care that I had to go to post-call Friday FP clinic yesterday because that meant that my NIGHTS WERE OVER. I can not even express how happy I am. This might be the most relieved I have ever felt in my entire life. I was getting giddy around 4:30 a.m. on Friday morning with the thought that, in a few mere hours, my hell of solo nights (the most miserable two weeks of my entire life, I'd like to add) would be done.

I would have to say that Thursday night was not quite as busy or as bad as was Wednesday night, but it was still hard. Triage was really busy and I think they did 2 C-sections. I did get to do some rounding on postpartums, which was good. There was only one vag delivery overnight-- a VAVD (vacuum-assisted), which I didn't even get called on. But I didn't even care (which is really bad, as it is the deliveries that I love)-- I was too busy doing other stuff, particularly answering my pager. This thing went off so many times that my memory got full-- it had been totally empty and cleared of messages when I went in. It is nearly impossible to get ANYTHING done when your pager goes off every 4-5 minutes. Honestly, it is absolutely ridiculous-- just answering calls (from the tower 3 nurses taking care of post-partum patients [when, when there are like 30 people on your service, are going to have lots of questions], the gyn onc nurses, calls from pharmacy, and then the voceras from the nurses taking care of laboring patients), is like a full time job. You are constantly on the phone, and it is nearly impossible (or it was Thursday), to get anything-- post-op visits, seeing triage patients, delivering, etc.-- done.

So what happened when I walked out of the hospital around 8:30 a.m. to retrieve my bike and ride over to the ACC for FP clinic? I unlocked the thing, obviously in a daze because I didn't notice what I would shortly thereafter, when I went to sit down, which was that my seat was missing! Yes-- there was an empty hole where my seat post and seat should have been! I thought at first that I was hallucinating... or that perhaps I "knocked it off" while I was maneuvering it off the then-full bike rack b/c of all the day people that had come in. Nope. No seats-on-posts lying anywhere nearby.

I didn't know that seat-stealing happened much. Why me? Why then? There were all these other lovely bikes WITH seats parked next to mine... couldn't they have taken one of their seats instead? But those weren't probably parked there overnight. Silly, naive me. So I walked over to clinic a bit frustrated, but actually kind of amused because this was quite a fitting way to end my misery of night float. I consoled myself with thoughts that it actually could have been much worse-- that is, if it had occurred in the middle of the week, when I'd have to walk home and walk back to work the same day, like 9 hours later. Or if it had been something other than the seat, I guess.

Clinic was not the smoothest on Friday. It was really hard to get things done quickly because there seemed to be only one preceptor for all the residents that had clinic patients-- definitely not a good ratio, so we all had to wait in line to "present." This was making me grumpy. I also was losing patience with a patient I was seeing because she was told she needed to make an appt. before she could get her prescription refill.... one rx was for hypertension, another one (vicodin) was for pain which she told me she has "all over" but which she was unable to describe in position, quality, severity, or timing. Boo. When I tried to get a feel for how much vicodin she was needing/using and asked, "When or how often do you take the vicodin?" she looked at me like I was crazy and said, "What do you mean when? I take it when I have pain!" I did have other good interactions, including a Mexican girl I saw a month ago for her new OB appointment and who came back for an OB check. She hoped that I would do an ultrasound today so I could tell her the sex of the baby :) Despite all my U/S experience while on L&D Triage, I am still not trained to do this.

After patients (who I staffed with Sarah, the FP/OB who just graduated but who is staying on as FP faculty-- which saved SO MUCH TIME-- this was so sweet of her to do because she technically wasn't "working"), she and I talked in her office and I ended up breaking down AGAIN. I probably walk around looking miserable because so many people stop and ask me, "Are you okay?" which, for some reason, inevitably sets off the waterworks. I am mostly touched that people care, I think, and that I have a venue to vent (besides this blog, that is :)). She, as well as Kyla and Aline, have been so supportive during this whole time... paging me (these pages I like :)) and stopping by the board room to say hi and see how things are going. She was telling me that it is normal to feel how I've been feeling-- totally worn out, inadequate, stupid, inefficient, but that it does get better. I really, really, really want to believe her. She also went above and beyond and called her husband, Matt, to see if he could come pick me (and my bike) up so that I could get home faster and sleep. What awesome people there are here.

Anyway, when I got done sobbing and made it home, I wanted to take a picture of my seat-less bike, because I still found this mildy funny (until today, when I had to go to the bike shop and cough up the $$ for a new seat.. as well as a seat leash [to prevent this from happening again...can you believe there exist such things?!] and front light, which was also taken), except that MY CAMERA IS ON THE FRITZ. It was dropped at least once while we were at Yosemite, and took pics fine, but now shuts off as soon as the display warms up. And it's not the batteries, which I replaced-- in case you were all thinking I'm some dumb girl who doesn't think to try the easy stuff. So no pics of the bike, or much of anything, until we work that out.

Today, as Nicole and Bay were busy with pre-wedding "family stuff," I didn't drive to SF, which was probably a good thing, b/c of all the stuff I had to get done, although I do love to "explore." I had a filled morning-- first met Antoinette, another FP resident with a specific interest in OB, for coffee to discuss setting up something of a reading schedule to formally get through one of the main OB texts. Then I ran to the bike place and got my re-accessorizing sorted out. I went to the P.O. and was excited to figure out how to use the APC (automated postal center) rather than stand in the 50-people-long line, as well as to the grocery store (LOVE self checkout). I stopped at Circuit City to check out new camera options (I'm going through photo-taking withdrawal and feel obligated to post pictures here!) and to the UCD bookstore, where I had to pick up a book I won in an orientation raffle (they were getting on my case b/c I hadn't found time to get there to get that huge heavy thing-- it's hard to transport on a bike! Esp. a seatless bike) :)

And now I'm home. I've caught up on a couple of phone calls. But my bed is calling. You're probably glad because that means I'm done rambling... for now :) I'm trying to get back on a days schedule, but I think the bed is winning. Later :)