Women's Rights are Human Rights

January 21st, 2017 was a remarkable day.  While I may have been loud in expressing my opinions writing and on social media lately, I have never before considered myself political, an activist, nor someone likely to protest anything in person, and didn't plan to participate in any of the worldwide Women's Marches that took place a day after the inauguration of our 45th president.  That being said, I know many people who physically marched, and I couldn't be prouder of them or more inspired by everyone who peacefully showed their solidarity around the world (I was definitely there in spirit!). I smiled at the witty signs and I was moved to tears as I saw the photos and read the powerful stories of women, men, and children in our rural county capital, Eureka (whose numbers approximated 8,000, I hear), as well as statewide in California, in our capital of Washington, D.C. (~500,000 people!), across the country, especially in historically "Red" states, and in each of all  SEVEN continents, who expressed their support for women, justice, and equality of all kinds.  I've been in a bit of a hopeless place in the last few months, and January 21st gave me hope.

While I am obviously a "bleeding heart" liberal in my political views, I have never thought of myself as a "feminist."  I guess I just never thought I had to be a feminist. I have never thought that there were limits, because of my gender, on what I could do or accomplish; however, I definitely recognize now naive I have been in thinking that all (or most) women were free from being judged by a different standard, and, know now that, despite how far we have come, our country still has a long way to go. I see now how incredibly lucky I have been in my upbringing, with parents who always supported me entirely in my goals, and now a husband who often, without a thought or complaining, cares for our child so that I can have have a demanding yet rewarding career.  I don't yet have a daughter who I can raise to understand that there should be no ceiling on what she can accomplish, but I have a passionate and spirited young son who knows I have to go "work at hospital with baby," and who I hope to raise to also be an ardent feminist, which is not and should never be a dirty word.

 

Thank you, President Obama, for being the best kind of father, husband, leader, and feminist. Thank you, Hillary Clinton, for reminding us that "Women's Rights are Human Rights."  Thank you to the men and women in my life and in the world who support our work, our choices, and our cause. The world is better and our country will "be great again" because of all of you.





Addendum: After I wrote this, a friend shared an article by Sarah Bessey which really resonated with me: On Being a Christian and Being a Feminist. I think these identifiers are viewed by many (both conservatives and liberals) as in direct opposition, but the article (and her book, which I'd like to read!) points out that they truly are not, and I will do my best to speak, act, and serve both causes in the best way I can, going forward.

Music Together

 

We enrolled Iver in a 10-week music class "North Coast Music Together," on a friend, Molly's recommendation.  The 45-minute class meets at Eureka's Morris Graves Art museum on Saturdays.

We weren't quite sure what to expect, but he is an avid music lover and dancer, and thought it would be a fun activity.  Having been involved in music education and performance for pretty much all my school years, starting with piano around age 6 (despite fighting it a lot of that time), it would delight me if Iver had some musical talent and interest as he gets older. He already loves to sing whole songs of "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and "Itsy Bitsy Spider."

The class included songs with many different rhythms, and the kids got to use hand motions, dancing, and various percussive instruments, including maracas/shaker eggs, tambourines, sticks, and more!

We're excited to go back this weekend!

 

 

Speak Up (with love) and Dream Big

While I am not African American, I very much appreciate the struggles of the Civil Rights and have always taken an interest in that era of our nation's troubled history and from other human rights struggles around the world and in history. While I have in many years past enjoyed the "day off" of work for Martin Luther King Day (although our current company does not have this as a paid holiday) and appreciated the role he played in our country's history, I'm not sure I have reflected so much in years past of the depths of his personal struggle, and how difficult it was to be calm and loving in the face of such hateful oppression.  This year is different.

While I acknowledge that not everyone who voted for our president-elect is a racist or bigot, their votes spoke volumes to me in that those values aren't dealbreakers in a leader governing this country now or in the near future, which is something that I admit readily that I have had an extremely hard time understanding, talking rationally about, and moving past. 

I would say that that my personal interest and investment in standing up to systemic racism was piqued by an extremely well done documentary on Netflix, "13th," by Ava Duvernay, which I watched last month and which chronicles the institutionalization of racism from slavery to (now) the prison system. If you think that we live in a country where we are purely judged "not by the color of our skin, but by the content of our character,"  then you are mistaken (before this election, I was surely in somewhat of a more naïve bubble, believing in the triumph of fairness and individual merit, which totally popped). While we've come far since the days of slavery, Jim Crow and segregation, we have so much farther to go, and our pace will now be quite a bit slower.

Today, recognizing that this country elected a (half-) black president before we chose our current president-elect, who is due to be inaugurated in a few short days, I know we've come so very far.  However, while we have come far, we have so much far to go, and so many marginalized people have so much still to lose.  I admit that my reaction to the current state of this country and our elected officials has made be bitter, disgusted, disillusioned, and angry, including towards people who stayed neutral or voted a narrow line in this controversial time.  That being said, going forward, I hope to reach out to people more like did the Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. who I celebrate today, and who I know, despite being denounced, oppressed, imprisoned, and hunted, preached kindness and love over all.



 

 
While I admit to being in a "Trump Slump," MLK deserves and would have done more, been tougher, and been kinder.  In his honor, I am committed now to try to judge and blame less and to do more, for others, including those who have hurt me and hurt those I care about with their actions and words.  I will continue to speak out against evil and about things that matter. However, my goal going forward is to always "stick with love" and hope and dream, like the great Reverend did, that love will triumph, some time and in some way "one day..."








P.S.
Some recent books which have really opened my eyes, seeing things from the perspective of an African American, and which I would recommend to all Americans, include:


Just Mercy (Bryan Stevenson)
Small Great Things (Jodi Picoult)-- a work of fiction, but so scarily based in truth that it reads like nonfiction
Between the World and Me (Ta-Nehisi Coates)


(On the to-be-read list, and more suggestions are welcome)
The Underground Railroad, Colson Whitehead
The New Jim Crow (Michelle Alexander)
Born a Crime (Trevor Noah)



Hillbilly Elegy (JD Vance) is on my hold list, to see the "other" perspective, which I am really trying to understand, despite how hard it is and how much I feel it has hurt the cause for human rights.

Going Forward

It's still early in 2017. The year holds much promise. For one, it's no longer 2016, which ended with a devastating election that has seriously shattered my faith in the intelligence, morals, and heart of American citizens and continued to leave me sickened and disgusted at our country, something that I am not sure I can ever "un-see"/forget.  I am certainly now "woken up" out of innocence and naïveté and am motivated and spurred to activism in terms of standing up to injustice, racism, inequity, and evil, spending time and money on causes that I feel will make our country one of which I can again be proud, and like I thought it was before The Divider was chosen as our leader and the GOP took the reins.

In our family, we have made some leaps forward in the parenting department.  On Christmas Day, Iver took his last drink of mama's milk-from-the-tap. For all the tantrums, screaming, and defiance of the last year, I was surprised how well he took to "Mama has a boo-boo; Dr. said no more..." It took a bit of topical beet juice to convince him, and cabbage leaves to help with engorgement on my part, and having in-laws around to distract him really helped, but weaning him off totally was a breeze compared to getting him in a carseat! I am loving and feeling much more energized and freed at not being tethered by frequent feedings and enjoying daddy taking a more active role in the sleep routines and comfort now that mommy has less unique gifts to offer.

With the withdrawal of milk as he turned two also came the change from diapers into "undies". We kept a tarp down in our house for a couple of weeks, but Iver has virtually been accident-free and often dry for naps, too, including at "school" for many days and even on outings away from the house! Potty training a strong-willed toddler was a task I was dreading, but I've been pleasantly surprised at how painless this, too, has been, compared to the other battles (solids, straps, sleep, etc.) we've fought over the past two years.

While "parenting" somehow never seemed to be getting better/easier despite the passage of time, which left me feeling quite a lot of despair, the age of two has been a game-changer. Being able to communicate and negotiate has made a huge difference. Iver has become much less defiant and more pleasant and adorable in all areas. I can see theoretically see why people have more children, if you can forget the deep and intense pain caused my so many sleepless nights, power struggles, and feeling like a failure. Is the morning here???





I have not understood God's methods many times in the last year, when my child was taking me to the brink, and with respect to the elected leaders and the party currently in positions to guide our country (which, in my opinion, is a path to more divisiveness, inequity, and destruction). However, despite my overwhelming dread that that we have extremely regressive, dark times ahead in our nation, with many unqualified and downright immoral people at the helm, I am trying to have faith that He has a plan.  I can start to see things looking up for our family.  I am not convinced yet that the "divided" states of America will bounce back quickly from all that has reared its ugly head in 2016, but some day in the not-too-distant future, I hope that His plan will become clear.





Until that joy is here, I'm going to try my hardest to enjoy being a good mother, a doctor, and doing some good daily in the things that are in my control. As the inspirational Martin Luther King said, "If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way."  Here's to moving forward in 2017, to the future, and to trying to bring some good to this very broken world.

HNY: Cousin Time!

I was on call for the New Year's weekend, and fairly busy with (five) births (including a couple on 12/31 and a New Year's baby!), so it was nice to have company to help keep Iver entertained.  Kelvin's parents were already here, helping us with childcare over the holiday daycare break, but Kenn, Lisa, Kingston, and Theresa joined us for three days.  While I missed the outings to church, the mall, etc, there was just a lot of relaxing, hunkering down at home during the cold, wintry (there was snow on the coast!) weather.

Church (Kingston and ba noi)

 

horsing around with "co Zaza" , and ong noi

Everyone was well fed! (Kenn even cooked in the InstaPot!)

Theresa made a delicious breakfast wreath...

... and Kenn celebrated his birthday with making his own lobster!

Here are some of the decent photos of joint bathtime!

Playing together

They enjoyed playing with magnet tiles in their jammies!

Being mechanics, fixing the turtle...

 Feeding Kingston milk

We had some hail (or "wintry mix") on the second!

We are thankful that they could make a trip up to these parts, and for a relatively Happy New Year thus far. Here's to good times and growth in 2017.