Golden Birthday, Golden Years

Pepper is now twelve, having her GOLDEN birthday on this twelfth! 

She is currently a "senior" dog per her vet, and certainly has had her share of health problems, as I chronicled last summer (as well as more recent acute things including a dog bite and foot abscess). 

She is really slow these days, dragging her feet on walks, not wanting to go out when it's warm, and needing to be let out more often. She seems to also have developed cataracts (? due to prednisone for her allergies) as seen in slightly opaque eyes (L>R) and is probably nearly entirely deaf, not flinching at smoke alarms now and being startled when we pet her after coming in from work. As a result, her sense of smell seems to be heightened, and she goes digging around in our work and school bags, sniffing for treats. 

    

Young pup (and dad) in 2011

She does still enjoy the beach and snuggles. 

2021

2022

We're not sure how many more months-years we'll have her, but we're trying to enjoy (and document) whatever time we have left!

Happy Golden Birthday, big girl! 

So big!

 

(fun with all mama's cozy attire)!

Doctors (sometimes) Make the Worst Patients

Kelvin and I are thankful to have been remarkably healthy in our (now) middle age!  We also are the type of people that tend to minimize our own physical pain/discomfort, etc. and I don't think either of us has taken a sick day in the history of our employment or higher education. Pre-COVID (which we have also still, to date, not tested positive for, although I'm having a hard time believing we haven't had it given our exposures), we frequently worked through colds, probable influenza (Kelvin, twice), stomach bugs (I did leave early one time from clinic after puking in an exam room), and more (it's very arguable whether this is wise, or good practice and I think COVID has changed a lot of caution levels). However, we never want to let down our patients or colleagues (and we don't have separate "sick" days compared to "vacation" days-- it's all PTO, undistinguished, so we prefer to save our days off for travel!).  

We are also (as family medicine doctors) used to reassuring nervous patients about the "normalcy" and "non-life-threatening" nature of so many illnesses, that health (and our own health or pain) is not really a big source of anxiety or stress for us (despite other areas of life that bring us worry). We are just about the farthest thing from hypochondriacs (= pathologic minimizers?). We were pretty convinced that Iver, a newborn vomiter, probably had really bad GERD until, at close to five weeks old, the projectile vomiting got so alarming one night that we took him in for a weight check the next day (which confirmed poor weight gain) followed by an urgent ultrasound, which showed pyloric stenosis, a rare stomach outlet obstruction that required urgent neonatal surgery called a pyloromyotomy (OOPS! First major parenting fail!). I also thought, for two or more hours in my first labor (obviously in denial), that I was just having GI cramps and arrived at the hospital fully dilated and ready to push. I drove myself to hospital with my second labor, thinking I was in super early in the process but actually being 8 cm, popping out baby Niall  about an hour and a half later. 

In any case, we flew back from Fargo on Monday, returning in the afternoon and, on Tuesday, Kelvin started complaining of moderate peri-umbilical abdominal pain. It wasn't terrible, he had an appetite, and there was no nausea/vomiting, fever, or other red-flag symptoms classic for a surgical problem. We guessed that it could be a stomach bug (, excessive spicy food, OR other) but he did look uncomfortable enough on Wednesday that I asked him if he wanted to take time off work or pepto bismol (he, predictably, declined. He's a busy/important guy and not a med-taker. I was also on a switched OB call so we were a little stretched, unless we could find another adult to be on back-up kid duty if I were called out if he needed to go in urgently). 

Symptoms were the same (no better) on Thursday morning, and we started to really think he really may have appendicitis, with localizing right lower quadrant pain and some guarding (but still, not the classic anorexia or vomiting). It was a good thing he trusted his intuition and our own diagnostic skills (and that we have doctor friends that could squeeze him in on short notice), prompting an urgent CT scan (completed during a lunch hour in-between his seeing primary care patients all day) which showed definitive acute appendicitis as communicated directly by the reading radiologist, whom we also know. Kelvin was able then to get in touch with the hospital's on-call surgeon (without having to go sit in the ER- yay!), reviewing the risks/benefits of antibiotic treatment (with possibly a 40% failure rate in months) vs. surgery but opting for a late-day add-on appendectomy for which he was to be COVID-PCR-swabbed, then put on only clear fluids, then NPO). (He was even free to finish up his afternoon clinic [!], even, at times, partially doubled over). Neither of us has had surgery before so this was a pretty new experience!

  

I brought him some supplies/toiletries and clothes just in case the recovery included an overnight stay, but surgery (and minimally invasive--laparoscopically) went smoothly.  Not having any family locally, it has been tricky to figure out how to juggle it all, but we had great friends who were able and more than willing to step-up for pinch-hit kid babysitting (Kellie!) and rides to/from the hospital (you're the best, Sara & Lori!) after the short (same-day or same-eve) procedure which he had around 7:30 pm or so (out by 8:30). I trust medical providers and was not nervous about the procedure at all even when he was under. Kelvin did well but was quite loopy afterward from the general anesthesia (not remembering that he called me to tell me that he was out of the OR). He's having mild incisional pain today and opted not to go into the office this morning on post-op day #1, but had nothing uncontrolled by ice/tylenol/NSAIDS (and I wouldn’t be surprised if he decided to go back to a work retreat this afternoon and tomorrow morning).

We know we're extremely fortunate and privileged as physicians to  have good health insurance as well as expedited access to health services and VIP treatment (but think we tend to pay it back in overworking ourselves through our various illnesses so as to not disrupt other patient care so, with hope, it's forgivable). We are so thankful to our Humboldt friends and medical village for getting us through this surprise and whirlwind diagnosis which, thankfully, was very acute and pretty minor in the grand scheme of things. (We're especially happy that this illness didn't happen while we were in the Swiss Alps or far away from home like we were last week! Timing could have been waaay worse!). Now, in our immediate family (including the dog!), only Niall and I are without abdominal scars. Whose health issue will come next?   

More Fargo Fun

Fargo, ND’s largest city, is actually a pretty happening place (up and coming, we hear, for millennials). Kelvin was shocked at how close things were to one another in a town of ~120,000 but how many things there were do to here (they have everything [which usually means Vietnamese and other ethnic food]). 

Just a couple of minutes from our hotel was the West Acres mall which housed both a food court and a Roger Maris museum, as apparently the home run record-holder was a Fargo native. 

While Iver played at nearby Rabanus park, Kelvin took the grouchier kid indoors with him.

A replica "woodchipper" from the famous movie "Fargo" sits in front of the Visitors' Center.

The kids (a bit unnervingly) recreated the scene near the end of the movie!

fun with panoramas

We then visited the Thunder Road Family Fun Center to try some "kiddie" activities.

Kelvin was excited because, as a kid, he didn't have enough money to go Go-Karting, Bumper-car-riding, or Laser-Tagging (he really is a kid at heart and the more fun parent!) so some of it was totally new for him, too!

Iver was shocked that I knew how to "drive" and only reluctantly rode in my kart! 

We capped off our trip to Fargo at dinner at Plaza Azteca, one of Jacky and Kyle's favorite local Mexican restaurants, where the food was good and the margaritas generous!

Vanessa wasn't that thrilled with mealtimes that included kids! 

"Photobombing forehead"

We then, at Iver's request, had one more "family swim" at the hotel pool.

The kids are old enough to remember this trip and (I think) had a lot of fun in what was a pleasantly "happening" town (if you like wholesome midwestern fun! And in the summertime!).  It's back to "real life" really soon!

How FAR we GO for those we love

We concluded our two-week vacation with the main draw of the timing of this trip-- to Fargo, ND, to celebrate the wedding of Jacky and Kyle.  

(Honestly, could there be a more beautiful and photogenic couple?! credit: Tomi Dawn Photo, stolen from Jacky’s FB)

Jacky is the beautiful, kind, and talented daughter of my dad's first cousin Richard. Our (late) grandfathers (mine Alton and hers Duane) were brothers, but they were born twelve years apart and so there is a half-generation age gap between Vanessa and me and the other kids of my dad's first cousins (which are some kind of cousin but I don’t know if it’s something once removed or other!).

I still picture Jacky as a little girl with the best and most adorable blond ringlets from the summers we spent in MN as kids.  She (a very talented performer) sang at our wedding in 2011 and also attended Vanessa's wedding in 2014 after she wrapped up her pageant serving as Miss North Dakota 2014. We last saw her in about 2017 for her brother Derek's college graduation, but in addition to her pageantry duties, she has been busy in law school in the Twin Cities and, after passing the bar, has joined a law practice in her hometown of Fargo. 

Jacky singing at our wedding in 2011

2014

We had never met Kyle before, but have heard about him a lot over the years as he and Jacky have had about a eight-year courtship, starting when he was playing football and attending NDSU here in Fargo. He went on to join the NFL and played four seasons including with the San Diego chargers and is now broadcasting and coaching. We knew a wedding was probably coming but, due to the pandemic and all the other "life" things they had going on, it was planned for this summer. We're so thankful to have received an invitation to attend; however, due to space constraints (with all the chapters of their very rich lives, they know a lot of people!), it was an adults-only wedding event (unfortunately, which we found out after we had bought complicated multi-leg plane tickets due to our preceding Europe trip). 

In any case, Amy helped us find a local babysitter (a daughter of one of her friends), and, despite not having ever been left with a *stranger* before, the kids did fine in our absence, going to a trampoline park, eating dinner, and having pool time at our hotel.

The wedding was held outside at Lone Oak Farm in Ayr, about 45 minutes outside of Fargo past many corn fields. It was sunny (until about 8 p.m., when there was a random downpour and thunderstorms) but HOT [90 degrees!] for the 4 p.m. ceremony (bringing flashbacks to our 100+-degree wedding day!).  There were numerous bridesmaids and groomsman (they are obviously a popular pair of humans!), and the ceremony had lovely personal touches including personal vows and a musical solo from one of Jacky's dear friends. 

Amy, Alexis, and Allison posted some signs to help guests not familiar with GPS.

The "Bison Bus" brought guests from two Fargo hotels

Mother & Father of the Bride!

The Mr. and Mrs.!

The reception was held in the large barn nearby, and was big enough for the nearly 400 guests (! superspreader?!). Kelvin also remarked that he was perhaps the only full Asian in a crowd of mostly blond midwesterners! The whiteness was pretty striking, I'd admit!  

Jacky told me that the personalized wooden carved name signs are made by a woman whose profits go to Ukrainian relief.

The food was delicious, the speeches wonderful, and the couple truly glorious in their love for each other (and God)!  

with Heather (at right)

Father-Daughter Dance

We headed back to Fargo fairly early (leaving the venue around 9 p.m., even thought the event went on another couple of hours) to relieve the babysitter (and hoping that the kids didn't burn down the hotel. They didn't! But they'd waited up for us!).

There was a next-day brunch at Amy's house where we got some more smaller-group conversation with close family and some friends of the bride and groom.  

Dearest Allison  (Aunt of the bride)

Amy, me, Allison, V

K and Peter

Dyno, Heather, V

(Kasey, Ryan, Brayden me, acting-out kids, Natalie, V)

Lots of Arness cousins (Derek, Ryan, Elise [Norwegian friend], Natalie, Marilyn, Jacky, Kyle, Brayden). Allison took many photos on her phone! 

Almost ALL the Arnesses and significant others!

The young 'uns

While we attended about seven weddings the summer we got married, Tina's wedding in 2020 was the last one we attended, and weddings have become more infrequent now due to our stage of life. Some people were wondering why the heck we were flying all the way to NORTH DAKOTA for a wedding! I must say that, while I don't see my Midwest family very often, I love them and enjoy their presence so much-- they have always been so welcoming to me (and now my husband and kids) and a "home base" amidst all the moving and relocating of my childhood. It was special to celebrate such an amazing couple with such a happy event (as the last time we were out here was for my Grandmother's funeral), and we truly do and should stretch far to support those we love. Here's to a long, happy life and more great things from this power couple!