Korean Love

Kelvin and I visited South Korea in April 2014 on our last major trip before becoming parents.  It was our first AirBnb experience (hosted by a lovely Korean women in her apartment), and from the sights to the ease of getting around to the food, we loved it. 

I now have a lot more "lovin' Korea" in my life. 

I have always been a big pen-and-paper (rather than digital) person and a couple of years ago got back into using a paper planner with week views for organizing my day-to-day life. I struggle with living in the in-between (with duplication of calendar events and tasks) as I still use google (calendars, tasks, and more, which nicely sync with my phone), but I much prefer writing to-dos and events down on paper. They're not cheap, but my favorite planner is one (Iconic series from Mochi) that I get shipped from South Korea in about October of the preceding year. If you are an organization nerd like me, filled with newfound resolve to lead a purposeful, resolution-filled life starting in January, check these out.

My sister-in-law gifted me the book Crying in H Mart, a memoir by Michelle Zauner, and I have to say it was an amazing first book to read to start the New Year (I hope this is another year filled with enjoying great works of literature). The memoir (a New York Times Bestseller) tells the story of Michelle's sometimes conflict-filled but also love-filled relationship with her Korean mother, who gets hit with a surprising cancer diagnosis, weaving her memories of Korean language, culture, and food with her own current grief.  I loved this book, highly recommend it, and was surely crying in my own living room as I devoured it (like I would bulgogi with kimchi) in two days.

And, for more drama...  while in Orange County, our friend Tina recommended a Korean mini-series on Netflix (Crash Landing on You).  In a more than a decade together, Kelvin and I have hardly ever watched/enjoyed a TV show together (exceptions: The Office, How I Met Your Mother, Breaking Bad [dyssynchronously]), as we have quite different tastes in media! Nevertheless, we gave the pilot a shot and while I wasn't initially hooked, we kept watching in the evenings... and now I'm officially (eight episodes into the sixteen), hooked. I have to restrain myself from "cheating" on my spouse by watching without him. The show tells the story of a South Korean businesswoman and heiress who, in a freak paragliding accident during a tornado, lands across the DMZ in North Korea, and has to figure out how to get back home, all while meeting kind-hearted people along the way. This show has it all-- drama, suspense, love, culture, a great soundtrack, food, humor (and subtitles), and I highly recommend it, especially to distract you from the depressing news of COVID!

 

Comin' Round

Iver continues to plug away at the piano for a few minutes at at time here and there (and on weekends). 

We still don't have a formal teacher (other than reluctant me).  I got a beginner theory book and am doing my best to instill the basics of note-reading and technique. He's working on putting two hands together simultaneously. 

I'm really proud of his initiative and improvement-- he's really Comin' Round! 

Common Sense COVID policies

We are now close to entering the third year of this COVID-19 pandemic. While I don't know too many people who aren't completely COVID-beleaguered/exhausted, I think that parents of young kids, health care workers (and those, like us, who are both) are truly close to the end of what we can reasonably handle.  My sister-in-law Katherine recently sent me this article which nails it. 

We have been shielding our kids from "normal" childhood things for almost two years now, avoiding socializing outside of school/work, travel (with few domestic exceptions), activities, birthday parties, and more. Iver had asked me, after he got vaccinated in November, whether he'd be able to attend a friend's future January birthday party, and I was so thrilled to say "Yes, that sounds great!" (all the while, still thinking, "but we'll just have to see..."

And now, almost predictably, there's Omicron. 

We really are at a point where we feel that someone in our family contracting COVID in the near future is probably inevitable, despite our best precautions and luck in having dodged it so far. We are trying to walk a very fine line between freaking out too much, and not enough, "letting go" and still being "safe" (which is obviously relative).  (Note: regarding the birthday party this week, we’re letting him go. It’s outdoors and he’ll mask when inside with other kids).

Many people (some of my health care worker friends included) have questioned the evidence behind the recent CDC guideline change to shortening isolation/quarantine periods for COVID (to five days with subsequently mask-wearing five more/quarantine to 10 days from 14 ideally with testing on day 5 after exposure if possible). Some people fear it will lead to irresponsible behavior and unnecessary exposure risks for others (some very vulnerable) in the community and was changed just to benefit corporations at the expense of workers.  However, in this house, we rejoiced.  In our three-quarters vaccinated household, we are not scared of the health risks of COVID, but we are terrified of the implications and threats of missed school/work, and we feel like we are missing out a lot on normal life because of it (while I, the introvert, don't miss large gatherings at all and am super comfortable with being socially restrictive, I grieve for my kids). We follow the news and are NYT subscribers (and I am about as liberal as they come, politically), but we do feel that the media is currently over-representing the absolute risk of COVID morbidity to individuals like ourselves and to most Americans. 

I am hopeful that some day in the not-too-distant future with the tools of widespread immunity (acquired or natural), masks, and therapeutics, the period of isolation or quarantine will be eliminated altogether and that people in the world can and will accept the small (but real) risks of COVID like we have done for influenza, pneumonia, and other respiratory pathogens which, while they can cause severe illness and death, do not for the vast majority of the population. Lest you peg me for a COVID dismisser or minimizer (which, I assure you, I am not), there are common sense things that, in our opinion, would well balance the emotional risks of living with prolonged pandemic restrictions (which I have seen in my own patients and family) while still still avoiding excessive death/hospitalizations in this country (obviously, there's no way we can prevent them all). *Note: these our my personal views alone, and may differ from those of my organization or hospital system.*

I am FOR:

- Vaccination including boosters for all eligible, at the very first available opportunity (I’m also for vaccine mandates)

- Schools staying open (we still maintain that they should have never been closed even in 2020), even in light of variants (thankfully, Omicron seems to cause milder disease than previous COVID strains and COVID morbidity is rare, even in unvaccinated kids)

- Masks in indoor public places or at large gatherings for as long as public health officials feel is prudent (masks are a very minor inconvenience that doesn't impact my life in any meaningful way; in fact, sometimes I like the anonymity of wearing masks indoors while out and about in our small town! My kids are also extremely used to them at this point and masks are a small price to pay for being able to do "normal things")

- Keeping kids (and adults) home when they're sick or febrile or feeling too ill to work and masking for the immediate and 10-day period after clinical illness and avoiding socializing during this period "in case" COVID is present

- Clinic-based COVID testing and evaluation for patients who are moderately ill, and appropriate testing/management for patients requiring hospital care (which is mostly the unvaccinated; it’s really hard to do this with grace, empathy, and without “I told you so”s)

- The option of at-home COVID testing for anyone with mild or no symptoms or who wants to be tested prior to gathering socially with vulnerable people, including people who obstinately refuse to get vaccinated or who are elderly or immunosuppressed (with hope and with help from the federal government, these tests become more available/affordable than they have been for people in the US, compared to Europe and other countries, and offloading the burden on our medical providers, who are sick of doing COVID testing all day long instead of other also important clinical work that creates its own downstream health problems)

- People at high risk for severe illness (like the elderly, immunocompromised) avoiding socializing unmasked during COVID surges whenever possible

- Tracking hospitalization and death rates (especially in relation to local, state, and national ICU capacity)

I am AGAINST:

- Tracking and sounding the alarm about rising COVID case counts (which, by in large, are like "bad colds" [or less] for the majority of the population, especially those who have responsibly been vaccinated and boosted)

- Routine and regular "surveillance" for asymptomatic COVID testing for "peace of mind" of employees or community members (especially those who have refused vaccination). I have always opted out of this testing when the clinic has offered it. Iver was required to have weekly testing in his school's after-care program (as they mix kids from different grades) until he was vaccinated and we've suggested he opt now now that he's had his shots.

- Wasting resources/time/manpower performing clinic-based COVID testing (especially multiple rounds) for patients who refuse to be immunized and who call with non-severe COVID symptoms but with panic about what this means for them and their lives

- Closing classrooms, schools, offices, stores, and businesses or lockdowns to "reduce the spread" of COVID, especially to the eligible-but-still-unvaccinated  (lack of staffing is it's own issue but I think you need to just make do the best you can, just as health care workers and other essential workers have done and continue to do throughout this whole pandemic)

- Isolation periods for employees and people who are well (yet incidentally COVID positive) and who faithfully wear well-fitting masks while at work and comply with avoiding socialization for the infectious period

- Barring masked birthing partners or restricting (by a capped/arbitrary number) doulas from supporting laboring patients or creating barriers to being present for one own child's birth (our hospital policy was currently changed just prior to the New Year to restrict visitors to only one [ideally vaccinated,] masked & presumably non-infectious partner to accompany the birthing patient; the operating room is sometimes even more strict). I have seen firsthand how negatively lack of emotional and labor support during pregnancy and around the time of birth affects birth routes, outcomes, and creates long-lasting trauma

- Mandatory masking outdoors 

I know not all educators/doctors/public health professionals/people agree with all of the above; however, as Kelvin is finding with all his COVID clinic research and work, the CDC and public health guidelines and messaging are adapting exceptionally slow given the state, length, and other social costs of the pandemic, and it really is time for some more common sense.  Something has to give, so life (for those of us, especially exhausted parents, who feel we've done all we can) can go on.

New Year's Babes

I have been on call since the 31st and am awaiting the New Year's Baby at our hospital. I have one induction going... will she have the baby today, or on the second?

The kids are (weather/flights willing) supposed to be coming back from Orange County tonight with Kelvin, who flew back on Friday morning to pick them up. They are supposed to arrive late (11 p.m.), so I'm not sure if I'll be home to see them on New Year's Day, or on the second.  Here are some cute pics from my MIL.

Capitol Christmas Tree

From The Capitol Christmas Tree website: "Every year, a different national forest is selected to provide a tree to appear on the west lawn of the U.S. Capitol building for the holiday season (since 1970, known as "the People's Tree"). The 2021 tree will come from the Six Rivers National Forest in (northwestern) California."

The fir tree, 84 feet tall, was nicknamed "Sugar Bear" and traveled 3,500 miles from our backyard forests in far northern California to the Capitol by the end of November. 

Here's a big shout out to Six Rivers and our lovely natural forests in NorCal! Happy New Year!

Best books of 2021

I read sixty-five books in 2021.  It has become somewhat of a tradition to post my Top-10 book list at the end of each calendar year.  If you follow my Facebook "Quarantine Reads album," you may be familiar already with my mini book reviews re-pasted here as my hobby of choice to escape COVID (both getting it and thinking about it) has been devouring books. If you only have time for a few books next year and want to narrow down your choices, here are my absolute favorites!

I was gifted Untamed from my sister-in-law and absolutely LOVED and devoured this book and Glennon Doyle's writing. This is a memoir (her third) that all women (and men, too!) need to read-- it reminds us that, while we are all broken and fighting our own difficult battles, we do not deserve to be caged or suffer through society's "expectations," and need to become free to pursue our own paths and passions, true love, authenticity, and self-acceptance. Her mantra is "We can do hard things." I also follow her podcast (named for her mantra) and get a lot out of it every week.

I love Kristin Hannah's writing, and adored this book of historical fiction about Elsa Martinelli, a woman who grew up without a loving family but who single-handedly leads her own during the devastation of the Great Depression. She carries them in strength and spirit from the dust bowl and fallow great plains of Texas in the 1930s to the migrant camps of California trying to make their way as farmworkers and Americans trying to get by (and fight for their rights) during this incredibly challenging time in our nation's history. 

Isabel Wilkerson's The Warmth of Other Suns, which chronicled the Great Migration of African Americans through the stories of three individuals and their families, was one of the best books I'd read in 2020 and the preceding decade. Caste is her latest book, which is a marvel of research, history, psychology, and philosophy that describes the American (racial) caste system in the context of two other notable caste systems (that of India and Nazi Germany which actually shockingly modeled their practices of terror after the American South). It describes the day-to-day injustices (and consequences for health, prosperity, and happiness) that so many of the "subordinate caste" black and brown people face in this country, and explains fully the white-lash to the election of the nation's first black president due to its "dominant group status threat," explaining the power of white tribalism. It wonders how the people of this country will be behaving (and voting) around 2042 when the US is no longer expected to be majority white (I wonder a lot, too). "Caste is more than rank, it is a state of mind that holds everyone captive, the dominant imprisoned in an illusion of their own entitlement, the subordinate trapped in the purgatory of someone else's definition of who they are and who they should be." Everyone (particularly white male Christians at the top of the caste hierarchy) should read this important book!  

Notes on a Silencing is a remarkable book, a memoir from Lacy Crawford about her time and sexual assault at the hands of two boys at St. Paul's, an elite Episcopalian boarding school in New Hampshire. It reminded me a lot of Chanel Miller's Know My Name, one of the best books I read in 2020. It is the shocking (yet, sadly, unsurprising) tale of victim-shaming and an elaborate cover-up which serves to silence the voices of vulnerable girls and women, while protecting the patriarchy and those in power. Like watching in horror Brett Kavanaugh's confirmation to the Supreme Court despite similar offenses against Christine Blasey Ford, it reminds us sadly that men's voices and power still rule supreme, although women continue, bravely, to do their absolute best not to be silenced, despite the great personal costs.

Rodham was the extremely hard-to-put-down imagined history of the life that Hillary Rodham would have led had she not said "Yes" to marrying Bill Clinton. Based on true events in her story from Wellesley days to Yale Law (and her romance with Bill) and beyond, admirers of this woman and all that she has accomplished in her *real life* will have have even more respect for her as a truly remarkable human after reading this novel. (This book is also like therapy for the soul for those of us traumatized by the 2016 election and aftermath and who know she would make a fabulous president).

Shuggie Bain is the haunting and heartbreaking yet beautifully written novel (full of Scottish colloquialisms) about little Hugh ("Shuggie") Bain, an effeminate young boy growing up in Glasgow public housing, whose life is constrained and defined by extreme poverty, the alcoholism of his mother, and the abandonment by all father figures in his life. It is the (based in truth) story of a young man, who has recognized that he is "different," and who is forced to make his own way in the cruel, gray world amidst the most impossible of circumstances. Its characters in all their broken humanity will stay with you long after you turn this book's last raw, honest page. 

The Last Letter From Your Lover was another heartwarming love story by one of the best in the business, British writer Jojo Moyes (who also wrote the classic Me Before You which I highly recommend). It weaves the story of Jennifer Stirling, a 1960s housewife who had a love affair shocking for the times and whose conclusion will surprise you, with the discovery of her love letters by Ellie, a modern woman and journalist struggling with her own relationship drama. This book became a Netflix movie starring Shailene Woodley, which is also worth a watch! 

There's a reason that Anxious People was on a six-month holds list when I tried (unsuccessfully) to borrow it in e-book form. I LOVED this book, and it, with deep empathy as well as tongue-in-cheek dry humor, was so much what I needed to read a a moment in my career (during the Delta surge of COVID) when I was truly beat down.  Swedish author Fredrik Backman (who also wrote the wonderful books A Man Called Ove and Beartown) hits another one out of the park with this sweet story about a group of (anxious, all struggling with life) strangers embroiled in a (bungled) hostage-taking endeavor in an apartment for sale, and who realize that we're all doing our best despite our flaws, and that we're all in this together. "We can't change the world, and a lot of the time we can't even change people. No more than one bit at a time. So we do what we can to help whenever we get the chance. We save those we can. We do our best. Then we try to find a way to convince ourselves that that will just have to be enough. So we can live with our failures without drowning."

If you are struggling with decisions, relationships of any kind, and just "hard things" in general, read this book by Cheryl Strayed, the author of Wild (in which she wrote about her family and experience on the Pacific Coast Trail)! Weaving her own experiences as a child, daughter, and mother into her wise words doled out by herself as "Sugar," an advice columnist for The Rumpus, she reminds us how to be broken and human, yet still move forward with our best lives.  It reminded me a lot of Untamed. 

I absolutely loved, loved, loved Between Two Kingdoms, a memoir written by a young woman, Suelika, whose life is derailed by a diagnosis of acute leukemia, and who has to find her way years later as a cancer survivor who doesn't quite know how to live in the "kingdom of the well" once achieving remission. Her stories about her upbringing, culture, family, friends, illness, and finding her way in the world will break your heart, and her writing will leave you breathless in its beauty. I think this was my favorite book I read this entire year, and it sweetly came near the end of the year! 

For more recommendations, see:

Top 10 books of 2020

Top books of 2019

Happy reading! Can't wait to see what great books 2022 holds! Send your best recommendations my way!

NorCal Snowmageddon 2021

Northern California has had its share of disasters this year! It was another bad year for wildfires. There was the earthquake last week. We've had some pretty frustrating road closures (rockslide north of us) for months on end. 

And then came the snow (which is rare near the coast). 

This past week, a huge winter storm hit the west and northwest, with rain pelting down on California. There was a massive hail storm right before our plane landed on Christmas night and many weather-related flight cancellations (ours thankfully wasn't one of them). There have been feet and feet of snow in Lake Tahoe, breaking all sorts of historical records. And the HWY 299 east of us closed down, shutting off the town of Willow Creek from the coast and Redding, closing the Open Door clinic and more, due to snow and other downed trees. Many areas in Southern Humboldt were without power.

I didn't catch actual snow in our parts on the coast (some friends posted on FB about snow in Arcata) but many friends we know took their kids up to Berry Summit/Titlow Hill about 35 min east of us (and which we checked out last year) to do some serious snow playing and sledding.

Here are some local news screenshots I captured of our snowmageddon 2021. 

It's definitely felt cold and frosty around these parts but I'm not that into snow, and actually enjoyed the sun coming out today.  

I'm sure the kids (when they return) are going to be a bit bummed they didn't get to play in fresh powder, but they're probably enjoying the milder weather of SoCal. Another time!