We have returned home from our 2.5-week trip to Ecuador, Virginia, and Orange County (pics and post from OC to come later!). Sigh. I wish I could truthfully say that we "rocked" travel with our 10-month-old. Yes, we made it to an international destination and saw some beautiful and truly unique islands and wildlife. We spent time with all of our nearest and dearest family, including my internationally-living sister and both sets of siblings and parents. We all stayed healthy (besides Kelvin's dramatic post-Scopolamine dizziness). But BOY AM I EXHAUSTED. It wasn't easy. I think I need a vacation from our vacation. We went on eight different planes on this trip, ranging from one to five hours in length. I'd say seven of the eight flights went well (better than I expected), but the outgoing Miami-Guayaquil flight was a nap disaster. The five-hour car ride from our town to the airport to start and conclude our journey just about killed me both times (our son doesn't like to be strapped into a carseat so, except for the time he's asleep, it's pretty much horrific). Here are my top lessons learned on this past trip.
1. Sleep on the road will not be as good as at home.
I think most of my readers know that we have never had great sleep in our household for the better part of this year since adding a baby to our lives (my sleep issues predated the baby but have only gotten worse). While we've done some formal graduated extinction sleep training, most recently in September after a trip out of town when I'd had my limit of multiple night wakings, all the results we had (and we did see progress, as we were down to about 1-2 wakings requiring intervention when at home!) certainly went out the window on this trip. We did have the use of a pack-and-play everywhere except the cruise ship, but our son didn't much like it, other than for naps (which, thankfully, did actually go pretty well), so we mostly had him in bed with us at night. To give you an example of how co-sleeping goes for us: while sleeping on mattresses on the floor at Kelvin's parents' house last night, on one of the six night wakings, Iver crawled ontop of me and managed to fall asleep horizontal on my back, as I slept face-down. I am not joking in the least. ALL of us wake more with Iver in the bed with us. I have to realize that a trip with a baby will result in much less sleep than one would ordinarily get at home. If I could do it again, I'm not sure I would have planned such a long first vacation of this depth.
2. It's important to slow down.
I am a pretty ambitious traveler in general. With a baby, I know even more now how critical it is to make sure that there is enough down time for him (and us!) to get in rest time. At Vanessa's house in Ecuador, we had a nice routine of a half-day excursion, and the rest of the afternoon/eve to rest at her place. The cruise also had built-in down time which was timed almost perfectly. This is a good lesson for me in all future travels.
3. Pack essentials, but pack lightly.
I'm a terrible (over-) packer. I would always prefer to have something "just in case" than to not pack it, and a) wish I had, and b) have to go get it, which I feel is a general waste of resources and time. However, more stuff means more bags (incurring baggage charges on one leg of our trip!) or heavier bags requiring luggage carts in the airports. Because of my anxiety about multiple poop-explosions [we only had one veritable poop-plosion!]/other outfit-destroying accidents on this trip, I had packed many extra changes of clothes, for both the baby and me. However, on these travels, we did have access to laundry at our relatives' houses, so I really could have about halved the amount of clothing I brought with us. I was worried about the food selection in Ecuador (particularly on the boat) and had brought some pre-packaged baby food pouches. As it was, Iver went on something of a solids strike on this trip and so many of those pouches came back with us; however, having them there made me feel more at rest. We had shipped diapers to ourselves ahead of time and had plenty left over. I need to learn to lighten up for future trips.
4. Airplanes/airlines are pretty baby-unfriendly.
Changing diapers on an airplane is rough. Iver's diaper changes generally take two people, and the "changing table" above the airplane toilet which, no joke, I saw labeled as a "nursing table" ("Please do not leave infants unattended on the nursing table"), is completely nonfunctional in my opinion. We changed him as a tag-team in the doorway of the airline restroom, hoping the stink didn't make it too far. Some airports also aren't particularly baby-friendly-- but I appreciate those that have family changing rooms, as a free-standing changing table high up over a hard bathroom floor is just not going to work for singlehandedly changing the diaper of our hyperactive infant.
I was frustrated with American Airlines, which didn't offer any family boarding, which should be mandatory for all airlines, in my (now parental) opinion. The fact that we boarded in a late "zone," and thus had to check a bag carefully stocked with baby essentials due to no overhead bin space, was extremely frustrating. The baggage handlers also destroyed our carseat bag and ripped our carseat, but are exempt from any liability, per the fine print of their policies.
5. Business class is NICE.
Oh, do I wish we were rich. Kelvin's college professor used some American Airlines points to upgrade us to First/Business class for our return-to-US legs of our trip. IT WAS AMAZING. I don't think I'd flown business class since we were children when my parents had accumulated lots of points to upgrade us. For our four-hour international leg from Ecuador to Miami, we had seats/mattresses which reclined to the horizontal, which made us all get a good amount of rest (I'd say we slept 75% of the flight, forgoing the complimentary meal, which was far less important to me than sleep). Although I'm sure the other high-class passengers were giving us, parents, the evil-eye by hanging out in first class with an infant, Iver didn't inconvenience anyone. I seriously contemplated never buying anything in the next year, just so we could fly first class on international trips in the future.
6. Baby Einstein DVDs are okay in an emergency.
I am aware it's important to keep kids away from screens unnecessarily. However, driving five hours with a baby who hates his carseat is an emergency, when you have exhausted naptime/books/toys/songs/feedings, etc. Enough said.
7. Extra hands are extremely helpful.
This trip was the first time Kelvin and I had tried to manage Iver all to ourselves for an extended period, without the aid of his wonderful grandmother. It was pretty rough. With his energy, it is pretty tiring keeping him occupied and safe 24/7. Kelvin was amazing. There were times when, exhausted, I wanted to check out from mom-mode, or return back to my "day job." I have to realize that even good moms need breaks, and I have to be better about recognizing and asking for help from friends and family (or even well-meaning strangers!), rather than feeling guilty when I can't be "on" all the time. I need to nap. I need to have some alone time. I need to get some fresh air and exercise.
We may bring grandparents on any/all future vacations, or take volunteers for nannying :)
We are contemplating another trip in March, as we usually try to do two a year. But I can't even fathom what that might entail right now. After unpacking, and getting settled back at home, we are more than happy to stay put for now. Iver was positively gleeful upon being back in our home, and I have to say that, while he's a pretty happy and flexible baby, I think his little system, with time changes, scenery changes, and people changes, got a little stressed on this trip. I certainly got stressed on this trip and took a great, deep breath upon reaching our doorstep. I don't think I've ever been so happy to be *home* and am actually looking forward to getting back into our daily routine (even if that means work in the morning).
1. Sleep on the road will not be as good as at home.
I think most of my readers know that we have never had great sleep in our household for the better part of this year since adding a baby to our lives (my sleep issues predated the baby but have only gotten worse). While we've done some formal graduated extinction sleep training, most recently in September after a trip out of town when I'd had my limit of multiple night wakings, all the results we had (and we did see progress, as we were down to about 1-2 wakings requiring intervention when at home!) certainly went out the window on this trip. We did have the use of a pack-and-play everywhere except the cruise ship, but our son didn't much like it, other than for naps (which, thankfully, did actually go pretty well), so we mostly had him in bed with us at night. To give you an example of how co-sleeping goes for us: while sleeping on mattresses on the floor at Kelvin's parents' house last night, on one of the six night wakings, Iver crawled ontop of me and managed to fall asleep horizontal on my back, as I slept face-down. I am not joking in the least. ALL of us wake more with Iver in the bed with us. I have to realize that a trip with a baby will result in much less sleep than one would ordinarily get at home. If I could do it again, I'm not sure I would have planned such a long first vacation of this depth.
2. It's important to slow down.
I am a pretty ambitious traveler in general. With a baby, I know even more now how critical it is to make sure that there is enough down time for him (and us!) to get in rest time. At Vanessa's house in Ecuador, we had a nice routine of a half-day excursion, and the rest of the afternoon/eve to rest at her place. The cruise also had built-in down time which was timed almost perfectly. This is a good lesson for me in all future travels.
3. Pack essentials, but pack lightly.
I'm a terrible (over-) packer. I would always prefer to have something "just in case" than to not pack it, and a) wish I had, and b) have to go get it, which I feel is a general waste of resources and time. However, more stuff means more bags (incurring baggage charges on one leg of our trip!) or heavier bags requiring luggage carts in the airports. Because of my anxiety about multiple poop-explosions [we only had one veritable poop-plosion!]/other outfit-destroying accidents on this trip, I had packed many extra changes of clothes, for both the baby and me. However, on these travels, we did have access to laundry at our relatives' houses, so I really could have about halved the amount of clothing I brought with us. I was worried about the food selection in Ecuador (particularly on the boat) and had brought some pre-packaged baby food pouches. As it was, Iver went on something of a solids strike on this trip and so many of those pouches came back with us; however, having them there made me feel more at rest. We had shipped diapers to ourselves ahead of time and had plenty left over. I need to learn to lighten up for future trips.
4. Airplanes/airlines are pretty baby-unfriendly.
Changing diapers on an airplane is rough. Iver's diaper changes generally take two people, and the "changing table" above the airplane toilet which, no joke, I saw labeled as a "nursing table" ("Please do not leave infants unattended on the nursing table"), is completely nonfunctional in my opinion. We changed him as a tag-team in the doorway of the airline restroom, hoping the stink didn't make it too far. Some airports also aren't particularly baby-friendly-- but I appreciate those that have family changing rooms, as a free-standing changing table high up over a hard bathroom floor is just not going to work for singlehandedly changing the diaper of our hyperactive infant.
I was frustrated with American Airlines, which didn't offer any family boarding, which should be mandatory for all airlines, in my (now parental) opinion. The fact that we boarded in a late "zone," and thus had to check a bag carefully stocked with baby essentials due to no overhead bin space, was extremely frustrating. The baggage handlers also destroyed our carseat bag and ripped our carseat, but are exempt from any liability, per the fine print of their policies.
5. Business class is NICE.
Oh, do I wish we were rich. Kelvin's college professor used some American Airlines points to upgrade us to First/Business class for our return-to-US legs of our trip. IT WAS AMAZING. I don't think I'd flown business class since we were children when my parents had accumulated lots of points to upgrade us. For our four-hour international leg from Ecuador to Miami, we had seats/mattresses which reclined to the horizontal, which made us all get a good amount of rest (I'd say we slept 75% of the flight, forgoing the complimentary meal, which was far less important to me than sleep). Although I'm sure the other high-class passengers were giving us, parents, the evil-eye by hanging out in first class with an infant, Iver didn't inconvenience anyone. I seriously contemplated never buying anything in the next year, just so we could fly first class on international trips in the future.
6. Baby Einstein DVDs are okay in an emergency.
I am aware it's important to keep kids away from screens unnecessarily. However, driving five hours with a baby who hates his carseat is an emergency, when you have exhausted naptime/books/toys/songs/feedings, etc. Enough said.
7. Extra hands are extremely helpful.
This trip was the first time Kelvin and I had tried to manage Iver all to ourselves for an extended period, without the aid of his wonderful grandmother. It was pretty rough. With his energy, it is pretty tiring keeping him occupied and safe 24/7. Kelvin was amazing. There were times when, exhausted, I wanted to check out from mom-mode, or return back to my "day job." I have to realize that even good moms need breaks, and I have to be better about recognizing and asking for help from friends and family (or even well-meaning strangers!), rather than feeling guilty when I can't be "on" all the time. I need to nap. I need to have some alone time. I need to get some fresh air and exercise.
We may bring grandparents on any/all future vacations, or take volunteers for nannying :)
We are contemplating another trip in March, as we usually try to do two a year. But I can't even fathom what that might entail right now. After unpacking, and getting settled back at home, we are more than happy to stay put for now. Iver was positively gleeful upon being back in our home, and I have to say that, while he's a pretty happy and flexible baby, I think his little system, with time changes, scenery changes, and people changes, got a little stressed on this trip. I certainly got stressed on this trip and took a great, deep breath upon reaching our doorstep. I don't think I've ever been so happy to be *home* and am actually looking forward to getting back into our daily routine (even if that means work in the morning).
