Back with Bambini: Sacramento a decade later

We recently hired a new FP/OB doctor, allowing me to step back from my twice-weekly OB call schedule right before the Thanksgiving holiday (sweet relief!).  Since our clinics are closed Thursday-Friday and I'm post-call Tuesdays, we took the additional Wednesday off and decided to take a road trip to our old stomping grounds in Sacramento with the goal to to try to reconnect with some of our old (and universally vaccinated) residency friends and to get out of Humboldt, where we've spent so much (more time than we usually do!) time during the past 18 months. 

Kelvin and I met in residency in Sacramento and got married right afterwards, a decade ago. The last time we visited was in February 2017. We told Niall (who was less than enthused by the city tour of our old apartments and frequented sites), "This is where mama and papa met. If we hadn't met here, you wouldn't exist."  Niall (still having a hard time grasping the concept of not-yet-being-alive) replied, "But was I dead?!"

Where it all started (UC Davis Ambulatory Care Center where our FP clinic was)

Kelvin's old (gated) apartment complex

His haircut place of choice

After our long, 5+-hour drive from McKinleyville, we took the kids to a trampoline park (Rebounderz) where they could bounce off all of their pent up energy (they actually did very well this road trip!). 

We then headed to midtown and ate at some of our favorites from residency days.

Chicago Fire Pizza (the kids' first restaurant experience since the pandemic!)

I've never seen this kid (the olive lover) eat this much in one sitting! 

(someone else was seriously disliking the black olives topping)

We then walked across the street to Rick's Dessert Diner, where the kids' lack of restaurant etiquette shone loud and clear.

Capitol by night

The next day, Kelvin took Niall to a local park...

... while Iver tried his hand at bouldering at The Boulder Field.

Quite the climber, he quickly graduated from the kiddie area and rocked even the high, adult-sized walls!

The doctor-mom in me (not wanting any wrist fractures) stressed the "don't FOOSH" (fall onto an outstretched hand) if you fall off the wall!

After lunch, we headed just east to Folsom and visited SeaQuest, an aquarium with enhancements.

The kids had a ton of fun petting and exchanging tokens to feed the animals.

(fake komodo)

Bearded dragon, like they've had in their classroom.

Reticulated python

Iguanas

Koi pond 

(I had never seen koi this large-- they're certainly well fed!)

Iver tried out the "fish pedicure" like we'd done in Cambodia!

Niall loved feeding "Wesley" the capybara 

We passed some time at McKinley park, which was a favorite of ours for playing frisbee during residency (and where [in the rose garden] we also had some engagement photos taken).

There is a fantastic kids' playground, which is fairly new and went unnoticed when we lived here.

Recreating our couple/family photos

Spot the photobombers in this family photo!

Iver thought watching the train pass through midtown was quite exciting!

We enjoyed dinner at Jack's Urban Eats and I enjoyed some social time and a drink with my friend Amy (alas, we did not take a photo!).

Being in Sacramento ("the River City") has been nostalgic, and surreal (now two kids and a decade later). We're at such a different stage of life than we were when we lived here, but we've loved showing the kids this city-- Iver seems to think it's a hit enough to want to fly to vacation here again (even though the drive is really not too bad). Thanks for the trip down memory lane, Sactown! You've been good to our journey and our family (which, obviously, may not have existed but for this place!).

#This is 40

I rarely make a big deal of birthdays. Every year I feel older, I seem to feel less and less like "celebrating." With COVID, we have done so little socializing that I don't even know how to "plan" anything.  Ever the introvert (who goes to bed by 9:30 or 10 p.m.), I'm also not much into parties, large social gatherings, or late-night debauchery. However, my good friend Kellie suggested doing at least something for this year's milestone birthday.  I opted for an outdoor walk/hike on Saturday at the Ma-le'l Dunes with some good local friends.  It was a stunningly lovely sunny weekend, and it was really nice to celebrate in low-key style outdoors with friends and conversation on our beautiful coast. 

from left: Val, Molly, Karen, Peggy, me, and Karen (Kellie with the camera)

Kelvin gifted me a kid-free weekend to watch tennis last month. However, early last week, he heard about an HSU basketball game featuring ex-NBA player and Hall-of-Famer, now coach, Gary Payton, and secured babysitting (thanks, teacher Gloria!) on Saturday for our first local date night in probably two years so we could catch the action.

We ate sushi dinner at Tomo, where the oyster shooters are to die for.

We enjoyed fairly close (cushioned) seats near half court. 

The bald guy in the middle is former Seattle SuperSonic, Gary Payton, who coaches Lincoln University. His youngest son, Julian, plays on his team, while another son, Gary Payton II, plays for the NBA team Golden State Warriors.

(jersey throwback)

Kelvin thought this LU center was the spitting image of Charles Barkley!

While HSU led early, LU took over in the second half, where it led the entire way until the last minute or so. It was an exciting finish, where our home team, HSU claimed the lead and won by three!

On my actual birthday, I got to "sleep in" (until 6:40).

Iver made this lovely card (with a "COVID" that jumped out at me-- can you spot it?!).  He asked me "What do you want for your birthday?" to which I replied, "Obedience." "But that's the same as you asked for last year!" he commented.

a few gifts... some lovely books

... and a lucky pineapple bamboo from my parents.

The kids were extremely enthralled by the plant's packing peanuts, making for some not-so-happy birthday cleaning for us (/me).

In the afternoon, we took the kids to Arcata's Finnish hot tubs/sauna, Cafe Mokka, which was a hit!

Fro-yo treat at Ultimate Yogurt

("This was the best Mama's birthday ever!" said Iver).

How it started (one-year-old cake photos that my mom sent me):

How my 40th ended: Kelvin popped open some high-end champagne because, well, you only turn 40 once. 

Thank you to all who reached out to wish me a happy day! It was a nice, quiet but happy weekend, which is just my style!  

Here's to middle age (officially!).  

Four decades of marriage

My parents-in-law just celebrated their 40th anniversary last weekend. I always remember their anniversary as it is exactly one week before the very day of my birth.  While we don't live close enough to celebrate in person, we will see them soon next month.  They have an incredible life story together, starting after the fall of Saigon and spanning a trans-oceanic journey to the U.S. with a young family, and they've set quite a high bar but a great example of a loving marriage for their four children (and us spouses). Thankfully, they are both in excellent health and I see many more years of celebrations in their futures.

Happy 40th Anniversary!

 

Letting People Back In

We have been at home without elective socialization for so long that it feels weird to be "invited" to stuff and to make plans with a group of friends!  The weather has been intermittently decent around here (we welcomed the storms for our drought-y state, but lost power for about 6 hours last week), and last weekend, our friend Peggy organized an outdoor "Snacksgiving" at Redwood Park, where we adults socialized and ate and the kids ran free at the nearby playground and basketball court (we didn't get any photos of the adults, however!).

With Iver now having one COVID shot in arm (although he won't be fully vaccinated for another month or so), we feel palpably that the tide is turning with respect to the pandemic and are really hoping that quarantining (and masking) will soon be a thing of the past. Iver asked me yesterday, "Can I go to my friend's birthday if he has a party in January? We'll be fully vaccinated! It felt so great to say "YES! That sounds like so much fun!" rather than "I don't know… we’ll have to see…COVID..." The kids ran into some of their other friends at the park, and we even allowed them to play mask-free, which felt so liberating and almost like normal times! 

This weekend, our residency friend Sonia and her husband Jim were driving south with a rented camper on a coastal road trip back to the Bay Area, and let us know they'd be in our neck of the woods. We hosted them for dinner last night (and breakfast this morning), and had a great time catching up about their lives, jobs, and future travel plans (they happened to be in Dubrovnik, Croatia, at the same time as us in 2018, too!). The kids were a bit confused at the having-guests dynamics (these are the first non-family visitors we'd had in our house in about two years; obviously both vaxxed!) and were a bit attention seeking during the meal, but it felt so great and normal to have people/visitors back in our lives and home!

 After holding our breath for so long, I feel like we're finally able to exhale. Here's to even more people re-entering our social space and circles!

Practicing Meditation

Meditation as a practice has intrigued me for some time.  Despite practicing hypnobirthing for my two successful medication-free births (and recommending meditation to my patients!), it does not come easily to me. 

I am someone whose mind is constantly thinking ahead, a hundred miles per hour most days, partly due to my temperament, but also due to the nature of my work (patient after patient after patient, note after note after note, inbox to tackle, hospital emergency after emergency, then e-mails. You have to be fast unless you want to still be writing patient notes at 9 p.m.). I am also one of those strange people who listens to podcasts on 1.5-speed  (as well as in the shower with a waterproof speaker) so I can enjoy more of them.  I have always been proud of my efficiency and task completion; thinking of all that I have to do, but not doing it (/procrastination) makes me feel stressed. Rest and contemplation often make me feel unproductive, and slowing down is very difficult for me (sitting in silence is difficult for many people, as it so happens). Patience has never been my strong suit. 

However, I realize more and more as I get older (and studies show) that multitasking and task-switching is really bad for the brain (and spirit), and that meditation is an excellent antidote (and that we all need periods of serious rest!). I'm not a yoga-doer, and I'm not sure I'll be joining any silent retreats anytime soon (although they sound really cool!); however, I'm making an intentional plan to be more mindful, present and singularly focused in my life going forward. While there are so many losses and downsides to this pandemic and I sincerely hope I don't have to live through another one in my lifetime, I think one lesson it has taught us is the importance of being present, without excessive distractions, being intentional with what we do (and who we connect with), and, overall, just doing less. 

I recently read Jay Shetty's book How to Think Like a Monk, in which he really lays out the case for the importance of meditation, mindfulness, service, detachment from things and even people that don't serve us. Training our brains to "think like a monk" can reap huge benefits for our feelings of gratitude and joy, as well as our health, even when living our busy lives in the "real" world full of negative influences and distractions.

Highly sensitive, I have already started spending less time on and engaging with social media, where the "noise" and "outrage" factor really affect my mood nd stress levels. I have turned off all notifications and routinely silence text notifications on phone (and don't always have my phone on me at all times when not on call). I've also made a plan to change my clinic template (as a trial/pilot) in the new year to have 30-min appointments so I can not feel so rushed with patients and I can actually take the time to listen better.

I recently downloaded the "Mamazen" app which I heard about on a parenting podcast, which has guided meditations aimed at parents (to help with putting you in the mindset to cope better with things like anger, parental overwhelm, strong-willed children, tantrums, and more), and I feel like listening in the morning sets a lovely tone for my pressure-filled days ahead (I'm not sure if I'll continue with the monthly subscription but am doing a 30-day free trial). 

Monks are truly some of the happiest people around, and we could all learn a lot from them!  I am hoping this season of "practicing" meditation turns into a lifelong practice and more lasting inner peace.

Loss and Sacrifice, measured

It is soooo exciting to have gotten to this day, when my oldest child was able to get his first COVID-19 vaccine. As healthcare workers, Kelvin and I were vaccinated early, last December, and we have both happily recently gotten boosters (we're thrilled to be SUPERvaccinated); however, for all of 2021, we've still been caught constantly performing risk calculations as a family (as in "is this outing/event/occasion, even masked, worth a potential exposure/quarantine/scrambling for childcare?" It is SO.EXHAUSTING, even though, based on the science, I [and many others, notably data-driven economist Emily Oster] believe that quarantines for kids [and possibly even masks] should no longer be a thing now that all at adults have been long eligible to be fully vaccinated as there is not a clear public health benefit for children considering the costs). Even with Iver on his way to acquired immunity, we're still waiting for Niall to become vaccine eligible (fingers crossed that it's not too long. We believe in collective responsibility, public health, and want to be a fully vaccinated family). While we know that the virus (and its variants) will continue to be with us, and still rages across the world in places less rich and fortunate than we are in the U.S., getting our kids vaccinated and being that much closer to herd immunity gives us HOPE that the end of the pandemic in this country seems within reach.  One kid in process, one to go!

 

I wanted to document what it took to get to this day, for Iver (our math lover), "by the numbers":

Duration of the pandemic in the US: 19.5 months 

Days wearing a mask dutifully: 595 days

Months since the adults in our house got vaccinated: 11

Consecutive months without seeing a relative: 14

Days subjected to "distance learning" kindergarten: ~140

Birthday parties not attended due to your parents' aversion to risk of exposure/contact tracing/potential quarantines: 6 (including your own) [and numerous other social invitations]

Teeth lost since March 2020: 5

Inches grown: 3

Quarantines: 4 (two "modified" with test-to-stay)

Americans who died of COVID before you were able to get vaccinated: 751,000 and counting 

COVID cases to date in Humboldt County: 9427 (deaths 116)

People, worldwide, who have tragically died from COVID: 5 million and counting

Americans who've tested positive for COVID: 46.3 million and counting

COVID swabs you've done without complaint: ~18

Positive COVID swabs in you and your household members: 0

Household vaccination percentage now: 62.5% (or slightly higher if you include boosters?)

Protectiveness of the Pfizer pediatric vaccine against symptomatic COVID: 90.7%

Tears your mom has cried due to your losses, and those of so many others across the world during this pandemic: too many to count

The smile on your face (once you took off your mask) after you bravely got your first inoculation (actually two, because you got your flu shot, too): PRICELESS! 

 Mama, boosted

Papa, getting his booster

Thank you for your resilience, patience, and sacrifice. We think (and pray) our calculations were worth it.

Brother, waiting for his one (flu) shot (which he didn't handle as well as you did)

thanks, Brenda!

Mom was SOOOO excited for you to get vaxxed!

SO TOUGH and happy!

Picture he drew

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On alleviating parents' concerns and why kids should get vaccinated, from physician Dr. Rebecca Cecil-Karb:

The Pfizer vaccine for 5-11 year olds is the same mRNA technology used for 12+, but in a smaller dose (10 micrograms vs 30 micrograms). Results from the trial showed that the efficacy and immunogenicity is similar at this smaller dose to the results for the 12+ population.

**The vaccine is 90.7% effective against symptomatic COVID**

 

Kids don't really get sick from COVID, so why should I get my kid vaccinated? 

It's true that most kids have very mild symptoms. However, some do not (over 8,000 kids age 5-11 have been hospitalized with COVID, and the trend is still increasing), and we do not yet know a whole lot about the long term effects of COVID for kids.

5-11 year olds are the highest at risk for Multisystem Inflammatory Syndrome in Children (MIS-C), which is a severe complication of COVID and occurs in 1 out of 3,200 cases in this age group. 70% of kids with MIS-C end up in the ICU, with a mortality rate of 1-2%.

Kids should not die from a preventable disease. Hard stop. There are so many other benefits to vaccination, once we are able to get enough kids on board. Vaccinating 5-11 year olds will reduce overall spread of COVID, keep more vulnerable people safe, and result in fewer disruptions to school and activities.

**Vaccination is necessary in order to create a safe off-ramp for masking and other precautions in schools**  YAY FOR GETTING BACK TO NORMAL.

 

What about the risks of the vaccine? What are the side effects?

The most common side effects reported in the trial were: pain at the injection site, fatigue, headache, and muscle aches. These typically last for ~1-2 days.

 

I've heard a lot about myocarditis and I'm worried it's not worth the risk.

Myocarditis is inflammation of the heart muscle. It is an *extremely rare* (less than 1 out 10,000) side effect of the vaccine, most commonly seen in teenage males. There have been very few hospitalizations and no deaths from this complication. In the Pfizer trial, there were ZERO cases of myocarditis in the 5-11 year old group.

What many people may not be aware of is that myocarditis can occur (pretty randomly) after any kind of infection. Children can get myocarditis from COVID, and in fact, it is *much more* likely than getting myocarditis from the vaccine!!!  **Teenage males who get COVID are SIX TIMES MORE LIKELY to get myocarditis than teenage males who get vaccinated** In other words, if myocarditis is something you don't want your kid to get, vaccination is the way to go!