Filling our cups (reminders of why vacations are mandatory)

Working in this country is touch. Primary care medicine with working many nights/weekends/holidays on call is tough in *normal times* (and practicing such medicine during a pandemic is its own monster).  Not having nearby family help, while parenting young kids and working full-time, is tough. Not taking more than a few days off work in nearly eighteen months is tough.  

There's a reason that all humans need breaks from work, no matter how dedicated we are to our craft, patients, etc. We need to be free to sign out of our never-ending inboxes, stop worrying about or feeling responsible about patients, and disengage from our phone, which is a reminder that we have to be available at a moment's notice every fourth day.  We need to remember that we are humans first (and loving parents or family members second), and workers (doctors) third.  Some people have studied the boost in happiness that happens anticipating a vacation (often times which is greater than the boost during the vacation itself!). I get that that boost exists, but ending a trip with a full cup also has a "tail" effect on future well-being.

This was such an important extended (two-week) break for me to refill my incredibly emptied cup from the last year-plus (YOU CAN'T POUR FROM AN EMPTY CUP). Kelvin and I got a few-day much-needed break from medicine and parenting, both of which deplete my reserves in a big way, and were able to scratch our travel itch.  But even when we were back at his parents' compact home with our kids, we truly got restorative time and rest (I realize that I enjoy parenting a lot more, even while traveling [which can be difficult] when I don't have the stressors of work following me around like a heavy backpack). Even with all the outside time, family time, and sightseeing, I read five books, put away my phone, stared at the ocean, snuggled in bed with my kids and don't feel bone-tired anymore (my need for coffee also went way down!)! 

My kids actually behaved really well during this trip (especially Iver, who tends to be a bit more challenging in temperament), as I think they also had their cups refilled by all the family play time, exercise, and time in the sunshine. They slept really well, and even slept in past 6 a.m. (some days).  Besides requesting snacks every 15 minutes, there wasn't much whining and nearly no meltdowns nor power struggles. I totally buy into what many parenting experts suggest as the most effective approach to get kids to listen and comply, which is not threat- or consequence-based, but rather relationship-based (when kids feel safe, listened to, happy, and loved, they naturally want to please you and make good choices). I saw this before my very eyes this trip.  My kids can't wait to come back to see their grandparents and similarly-aged little cousins. They told me that they prefer seeing their family to spending time with friends back home so it was absolutely a good call to travel down here despite all the COVID-unknowns and small risks. 

R&R

Best Auntie

Full lap, full cup!

Fillin' those cups at a tea party! 

Superheroes: Super fun time!

This trip, we also so enjoyed getting a chance to meet up with our immunized friends, some of whom we hadn't seen in years, our formerly close relationships disrupted by demanding work schedules, parenthood, distance, and a pandemic. While I'm incredibly introverted, I didn't realize how much I enjoy and have missed (and needed) friendly adult conversation and hanging out with people who share our values, worldview, and who truly understand our day-to-day challenges. 

Kimie, who K has known since college, also attended med school with him and residency with us both and joined us for dinner.

We will try to never go so long without a true cup-filling vacation again! 

Full hearts, full cups!