Mask Limbo

All of us are just wanting to be done with this COVID-19 pandemic.

When will we be?  

When can we "return to normal" (in this country, at least. Obviously many overseas countries, including India, are still in crisis.)? 

For our family, we think it's when the kids, or at least our kids, get their vaccines, although by the data, we can/could probably relax a bit more, a little bit sooner.

I enjoy Emily Oster's evidence-based work, and she recently wrote a good article about our current "Can we/should we do xxxxx?" limbo, which is where I find myself a lot of the time. This article even preceded the newest (May 13th) CDC guidelines of what "fully vaccinated people" can do safely (basically, return to pre-pandemic activities with few exceptions). It's hard to relax after a year of being so cautious and strict (when we've watched so many people in the country be the opposite. Additionally, our rural county, which has had low case numbers for the whole pandemic, has actually seen an uptick in recent weeks with COVID "surging" in early May, compared to the rest of California, into the color-coded "Orange Tier"-- not the type of news you want your county to be making!).  

I (like Oster, based on the evidence) have always felt that the personal and societal risks of kids out of school outweighed the public health risks of kids in school. I'm really glad to see others (even the liberals who can't seem to quit lockdown) coming around a bit, as California public schools are finally open.  But I still struggle with what "personally" we feel comfortable and safe doing in our own "social" lives that is nonessential (school is essential).  

Because of the kids. Sigh. Emily Oster writes, which is exactly how I feel, " Many parents are experiencing, basically, decision-fatigue-induced-vaccine-jealousy."

We are a family trapped between being fully vaccinated (adults) trusting the science, yet still extremely suspicious of our neighbors' decisions and behavior, while trying to let our children (safely) have some semblance of a normal childhood. It is super hard to navigate.

At this point, Kelvin and I feel safe in the world. I have never actually been that concerned about COVID-19 personally or for our kids (although I of course know it can severely affect even totally healthy people), but just have been very acutely aware of the ramifications of spreading it and taking down the healthcare system (or our OB call group) or affecting the safety of group school settings. We are responsible, rule-abiding people who care about our neighbors and community more than the inconvenience of sacrificing “personal freedom.”

We are now seeing most patients in person in clinic (many of whom are vaccinated), although some still prefer telehealth. We are still having "get your vaccine" conversations frequently with patients and parents-of-kids-who-are-our-patients who aren't yet vaccinated (I'm recommending that my OB patients also get vaccinated while pregnant, because the studies show it’s safe, although this is understandably a more hesitant adult population), which, while exhausting, is critical to herd immunity.

We have socialized with our vaccinated friends, even briefly inside at a birthday party small-group gathering (which felt extremely strange).

I am back to sitting at my old in-pod desk at my family medicine clinic, rather than in a socially distanced exam room-turned-office.

We bring, but don't wear, masks when outside.

We have eaten (indoors) at a restaurant (without kids).

We are planning to fly (with the kids) this summer, and vacation domestically, but out of state (without the kids).

We still wear our masks at all times indoors when we're with our kids and other people outside of our house, no matter where we are/with whom we are (even with vaccinated adults), for modeling and consistency for them, as well as to avoid any possibility of another quarantine. We also always want others to feel comfortable-- I worry a lot about what other people think/believe about us (to a fault). There will be people wearing masks long after it is probably necessary to do so, but no one said there was a remove-your-mask mandate! And there are still a lot of unidentified anti-maskers/anti-vaxxers (unfortunately often one and the same, the people that should still mask!) out there to be wary of in public settings, which is why I will still wear my mask indoors for solidarity and would never judge someone else for doing so if it made them feel safer (many people in Asia routinely wear masks on the subway or during flu season, well before COVID was a thing). I am pro-vaccine-passport/vaccine verification as well as pro-mandatory vaccination, especially for workplaces and schools, by the way.

But we will still feel kind of on edge, because of the (still) unvaccinated munchkins. We have hope that kids over two will be eligible for vaccines in the fall, and can't wait until we don't have to worry, and jeopardize our kids' school/childcare by any out-of-school social interactions which we've basically avoided to date for more than a year. When COVID is just another URI that may keep a kid out of school for a few days (but would not shut a school down), we may feel we can let our guard down.

Until then, we will be in mask limbo (wearing them most of the time even though, medically, it's not required for us adults). The pandemic is not over, but we seem to be nearing the end of it in this country. Limbo is an okay place to be, for now.